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Podcast

Ep. 256 Fawning: Are You Abandoning Yourself to Keep Others Happy?

This is a picture of Katie Silcox. The text reads, "Spirit Sessions: Find your true spiritual home with Katie Silcox."

Calling all people pleasers! Today on the pod, Katie discusses fawning, a lesser-known nervous system response that can leave us prioritizing everyone else’s needs at the expense of our own authenticity. Learn how to recognize fawning within yourself, unravel your people-pleasing patterns, and begin becoming the loving, supportive presence you needed as a child.

Are you ready to embark on a year of deep, nervous system-informed Ayurveda study? Join us for the next cohort of our Ayurveda School, beginning January 20th, 2027. Click here to learn more and secure your early-bird tuition discount today!

In this episode about fawning, you’ll hear:

~ How fawning shapes our relationships

~ People-pleasing as a strategy for feeling safe, loved and connected

~ How to recognise if you’re in a fawning state

~ Identifying childhood patterns that influence your relationships and identity

~ The difference between genuine kindness and people-pleasing

~ Reconnecting with your body’s wisdom

~ Becoming the person you needed as a child

~ Why setting healthy boundaries is often uncomfortable

~ An invitation to try Katie’s 24-hour fawning fast!

~ Staying true to yourself

~ Learn more about how to regulate your nervous system today! Watch the replay of our Somatic Ayurveda Workshop here.

Or Subscribe on iTunes

Check out these related episodes to learn more about fawning and your nervous system:

~ Ep. 253 The #1 Sign of Nervous System Healing + 9 More 

~ Ep. 226 The Night My House Burned & What Truly Saved Me

Connect with Katie and The Shakti School:

~ Our free gift to you: Click here to have our Women’s Wisdom and Ayurveda Mini-Course delivered directly to your inbox.

~ If you have questions about Ayurveda School, please email us at [email protected] or book a free call with us here!

~ Follow The Shakti School on Instagram and Facebook

~ Read Katie’s latest book, Glow-Worthy!

Help Us Spread Our Pod Wings!

We hope you loved today's episode all about fawning and people-pleasing! If you'd like to support the pod, the most effective way you can help is to:

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From my heart to yours,

Katie

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This is me at just a few years shy of 50 years old This is me at just a few years shy of 50 years old. I’ve never been stronger. I’ve never slept this deep. I’ve never liked myself more and appreciated my life more. And guess what? My dreams didn’t all come true. In fact, some of them did and they still didn’t quell the pain and thirst inside me for more. There is absolutely no herb, supplement, injection, diet, shampoo, face cream, red light therapy, or food elimination that really moved the needle for me. The biggest shift towards the healthiest, happiest year of my life was in my mind, emotions and perceptions of reality. What if we all made the commitment that in 2027 we were going to awaken the endogenous chemicals in our body that know how to make us feel strong and happy by starting with our INNER voice and INNER beliefs? In 2026 my whole life burned down, but I made the commitment to maintain my non-negotiables in life. This meant appropriate exercise, my daily meditation, sleep and a wild commitment to always being willing to do the deep shadow work required to AWAKEN. It is my honor to guide you (among with our 25 teachers!) into Shakti’s next year-long spiritual Ayurveda training. Wanna start now for free with me? Comment “LUNCHTIME” to get the link to my Free cooking class next week! I’ll teach you how to make the one meal that I go to when life gets complicated. Xox, kt
My mama Vera has a friend named Martha who once to My mama Vera has a friend named Martha who once told me that her meditation was getting into a hot bubble bath every night, pouring a big glass of Chardonnay and watching TV surrounded by hot, fragrant bubbles.⁠
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I remember thinking, “What? That’s not meditation!”⁠
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And now, well into my forties, the bathtub has become a sacred meditation for me, too. 🛁⁠
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I've joined the ranks of my mother and her bathing (and privileged-to-be-aging) beauties in an absolute CELEBRATION of our baths as something so much more than a tub to scrub clean.⁠
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Think Cleopatra soaking in whole milk, honey and rose petals. 🌹⁠
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For me and Cleo (and probably Martha), bathing has very little to do with just getting our bodies clean. Baths were a place for women to gather, gossip, luxuriate and tend to the sacred business of being alive in a HOT woman's body.⁠
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So, how can we come home to our inner Cleo?⁠
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🌸 Decide to be naked, wet and fabulous.⁠
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🌸 Pour milk, honey and rose essential oil into your bath. Add a little of your favorite organic oil.⁠
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🌸 Get in and massage your body with the oily milkyness. Rest your brain.⁠
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Want more inspo, ma’ queen? Here are a few of my favorite bathing rituals:⁠
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🍯 The Milk & Honey Goddess Bath: Whole milk (or coconut milk), honey, almond or jojoba oil and fresh rose petals for soft, silky, deliciously nourished skin.⁠
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🍌 The Banana Beauty Queen Mask: Mashed banana, honey and full-fat yogurt for a little facial nourishment while you soak.⁠
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🌹 The Ayurvedic Rose & Oat Bath: Ground oats, dried rose petals, coconut milk and honey for those evenings when your whole being is begging for softness.⁠
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Now tell me, what bath rituals am I missing out on from your culture or self-care practices? 💗⁠
Fall and early winter remind us that all of life m Fall and early winter remind us that all of life moves in cycles of creation, dissolution and renewal. The season is windy, emptying, rough and dry. If we are listening, we may feel ourselves naturally releasing what has run its course and making space for what has not yet arrived.⁠
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This is the season for intuition, stillness and the sacred art of dying before beginning again. ⁠
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Our creative life-force asks this of us now: not more striving, but surrender. Through devotion, meditation and the courage to turn inward, we discover that every ending prepares the ground for new life.⁠
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🌬️ Comment ENERGY to get my FREE class, Somatic Ayurveda: Balancing the Nervous System with Ancient Embodiment to learn how to deeply ground and regulate this season.⁠
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Art from⁠
@deltavenus⁠
@wetheurban⁠
@animamundiherbals⁠
@wordsarevibrations
Join Katie Silcox LIVE from her kitchen for a nour Join Katie Silcox LIVE from her kitchen for a nourishing, hands-on introduction to Ayurvedic cooking! ⁠
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In this free, one-hour workshop, Katie will prepare a simple, delicious one-pot meal for the whole family while sharing the ancient wisdom of Ayurvedic nutrition. Discover how everyday cooking can become a practice of mindfulness, nourishment and connection. Plus, how bringing a little more intention into your kitchen can transform the way you care for yourself and those you love.⁠
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Together, we'll explore:⁠
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🍴Ayurvedic cooking and nutrition basics: How digestion, seasonal eating and the qualities of food influence our well-being.⁠
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🍴One-pot nourishment for the whole family: How to create a simple, delicious meal using Ayurvedic principles and everyday ingredients.⁠
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🍴Cooking as a spiritual practice: How chopping vegetables, stirring a pot and preparing food can become acts of mindfulness and meditation.⁠
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🍴Food as medicine: How spices, ingredients and cooking methods can support digestion, balance and vitality.⁠
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🍴Bringing Ayurveda into everyday life: Simple, practical ways to make your kitchen a place of nourishment, presence and connection.⁠
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Link in bio or comment “LUNCHTIME” and we’ll send you the link to sign up directly! ⁠
In North America (and all around the globe) the us In North America (and all around the globe) the use of sweets in celebratory events has been a historical tradition. Though the cultivation of sugar dates back to 8,000 BC, we see the use of sugar in celebratory events as early as 2,400 BC (!) where there is evidence of beekeeping and the collection of honey for honey cakes found at a religious temple near present day Cairo, Egypt. (Hippocrates Health Institute - The Sugar Timeline)⁠
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We also see this in the Hindu/Yoga tradition where bringing sweets to the temple as an offering to the Gods is commonly practiced. Traditionally, before industrial sugar cane manufacturing, sweets were more of a luxury item and were considered “sattvic,” or pure. Of course, this is in reference to sugar in the form of dates and honey which aren’t nearly as taxing on the body as the chemically refined sugar we most commonly use today.⁠
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So, how do we go back to making sugar sacred?⁠
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It all comes back to eating whole foods and preparing food at home. If we all made an effort to only eat sugar when we could prepare our own sweet treats, it would likely lead to much healthier options (no matter if you’re cooking with white sugar or not). ⁠
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If you want your family to be blown away, show up to the holiday dinner party with this amazing (and healthy) pumpkin pie! It’s not going to spike your blood sugar, it’s going to make everyone in the room happy and eating it might even be a sacred act.⁠
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This no-bake pie sweetened with dates and maple syrup is the perfect nourishing dessert to enjoy with those you love. You’re not gonna regret making it. 🥧  And shout out to my sister @marymcquate who inspired us with the recipe. ⁠
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🍁😍 Comment PUMPKIN below and we’ll send you the recipe!

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