relationships

Whether you are single or in partnership, we're all in a constant state of relating to one another. Maybe it’s your lover, your husband, or your girlfriend, but it’s also your mother, your best friend, and your neighbor. The list goes on. Inevitably, as any relationship deepens, our emotions become more vulnerable, our fears and personal stories get in the way, and it can become increasingly difficult to approach conflict with love and clear communication, which is what we all ultimately desire.

If we could only take a moment to pause and step back it’s possible that we could have more success when it comes to resolving issues with the ones we love most.

One of the most typical causes of arguments comes from the patterned thought process of seeing the other person as the answer, or source, to your happiness. This is more common in romantic partnerships. In American society we have been taught through pop culture that our partner should be “our everything.” It’s quite a burden to place on one another when in fact our deepest sense of happiness should come from within our own independent well of joy. If we are unable to find our own inner peace and ease, every relationship we are in will suffer because of it.

Many relationships suffer due to our lack of understanding around our own pain and suffering. When we're hyperfocused on our own pain it puts us in a defensive position where from we feel attacked. This can be extremely harmful to the relationship and will be a major obstacle to overcoming the initial or root issue. When you find yourself in an uncomfortable conversation and you are in defense mode, either an argument with a family member or a fight with your husband, try asking the following questions: