The Shakti School

Feminine Form Sacred Technology

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Ep. 21 Overcoming Anxiety in a PTSD World

We're living in the midst of an anxiety epidemic, so in today's episode, Katie discusses her personal journey with anxiety and depression and shares the sweet practices she uses for overcoming anxiety.

Learn why struggling with anxiety is so common in our modern world, what this has to do with our nervous system state and the Ayurvedic perspective on anxiety, fear and related emotions. At the end of the episode, Katie leads you through a guided practice to help you in overcoming anxiety.

In this episode about overcoming anxiety, you'll hear:

~ Why mental health is such a big deal in today’s world

~ The power of naming something

~ Anxiety is not a disease

~ A PTSD Culture

~ The Kali Yuga/the Time of a Quickening

~ The nervous system and psychic constipation

~ States of the nervous system

~ Fear can be healthy

~ Anxiety vs Fear

~ Samsara - the Wheel of Repetition

~ Working in the Healing Arts

~ The relationship between perfectionism and anxiety

~ Pop meditation and anxiety

~ Namaha: that’s not mine

~ Constriction vs Spaciousness

~ A special practice for overcoming anxiety

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Katie

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Silence Envelopes the Voices of Insecurity

Our culture supports individual effort and perfection. In fact, I recently read about an experiment done on two groups of people, one from the United States, and another group from Japan. Each group was shown an image that included an individual scuba diver sinking into an ocean full of fish and other marine life. The group was given a few minutes to look over the image, and was later asked to recall what was presented there.

The American group had a marvelous recall on the diver. They could remember what color his tank was, his facial expression, and even the type of gear he was wearing. This same group fared very poorly on their remembrance of the fish, the plants, the water, and the general geography of where the diver was located. In strong contrast to the American group’s ability to recall the diver, the Japanese group remembered much less about the individual, but had dramatic recall of the environment in which the diver was swimming. They described, in ardent detail, the schools of fish, the marine layout and the general situation in which in which the diver found himself. The social scientists concluded that this spoke to our cultural value system. Americans group up in a world that values the individual, and takes pride in the perfection of individual efforts. Eastern cultures, on the other hand, are known for valuing cultural context and group identity.

It’s not to say that one way of seeing the world is better or worse than the other, but it does bring up an interesting question regarding focus. Remember, our prana (energy) follows our focus, and much of our prana (remember, that is our energy) goes to focusing in, honing in, even obsessing over, our own individual situation. This is another way of saying that much of our energy goes into mental processing in a push towards personal perfection, a never-ending process that can lead to a deep sense that we can never be fulfilled, that life is never enough, and a deep insecurity and fear.

Why does this happen? According to the wisdom of Ayurveda and Tantra, it happens because we are confused (or experiencing avidya – mis-knowing). We have forgotten. What have we forgotten? That the continual processing towards perfection, a quest to avoid pain and disappointment and gain things that feel good, leads us a false belief that we are not good enough already. We forget that, deep within, lies an bottomless well of support and freedom, and this bottomless pit of ambrosial nectar in our own light – an eternal bridge to freedom from the duality of good and bad, as well as a gateway into peace. It’s what Buddha was so pumped up about. Jesus said it as well when he encouraged us to “let thine two eyes become one” (i.e. our dual thinking line up with Spirit).

All of this beautiful philosophy and ambrosial nectar-speak may have you rolling your eyes. You may feel like freedom and peace are two states of being really far from your current set point. You may be laughing right now. “Yeah, right, sister. I’m an elementary school teacher with two kids and a beer-guzzling husband. My life is as far as you can get from the peaceful gateway.” I totally get it – but we ALL have the ability to tap into the loving, the invincible…

Ok, so what is this secret doorway into the Divine? Its simple. Its profound. And its not always easy to find. Its just silence.

Try it now.

Stop reading.

And take a few deep breaths into your own belly, your own heart. Keep breathing until you taste a tiny drop of silence, and then tell me if you are not, in some way, great or small, closer to heaven.

Here's a short guided meditation you can do whenever you need a moment.

~Katie

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You Are So Much More Than You Know

Two big questions that most human beings will ponder at some point in their lives: “Who am I?” and “How can I get more of what I want in my life?”

Some of us may even ask ask them on a daily basis.

One of the things I love about the Tantric yoga tradition is its systematic approach to answering both of these inquiries. The Taittiriya Upanishad, one of the most important yogic scriptures, says that if we really want to know who we are, and get more joy and fulfillment in life, we gotta get to know our subtle anatomy.

Why? Because we are, according to Tantric anatomy, not one, but a composite of five bodies (pancha koshas): the physical body, the energetic body, the mental/emotional body, the inner-teacher or wisdom body, and the bliss body. When we can bring awareness into the deep layers of each of these bodies, we gain access to our highest, most evolved, powerful Self.

Body Mapping

Each of these bodies comes with their own limitations, access points, and super-powers. The more we know about each one of them, and the more familiar we get in their unique flavors, the more we have a relationship to them. And when we can relate them as as layers of who we are, the more they begin to show us their hidden contents.

The teachings go on to explain that what is hidden in these bodies is both our unconscious negative patterning, as well as our greatest gifts and powers. When the patterns that are hidden in the bodies emerge, we are no longer under the pull of the unconscious stuff. We can now get more of what we truly want as we bring the limitations and the latent capacities of the unconscious to the surface. In the end, when we penetrate the last layer of who we are, we are left with an endless power to create, act, and know.

Access Points

The physical. Many activities invite us into the physical body. Asana, for example, is an excellent way to tune in. We can feel our bones and they way they stack on top of each when we come into a Plank Pose. What happens to the tops of your thighs when you do Warrior 1 for long enough? Perhaps a burning sensation or a “shaking with joy.” Dancing will also bring you into the physical. So will a big meal, strong pain, sex, or a sunburn.

The energetic. Commonly referred to as the prana body, this can be felt when we keep the physical body still. We experience prana, according to the teachings, as subtle moving sensations like vibration and pulse, or we see it when we close our eyes as color or light. We can also experience prana as the impulse that pulls breath into the body (without us trying at all), and the force that causes air to leave again. This is one of the reasons the yogis encouraged such a strong connection to the breath. Prana also rides along the many intelligent processes in the body: the heart beat, the circulation of blood, and the capacity of our sensory organs.

The mental/emotional. This is where many of us spend a lot of time. It’s the part of us that thinks, plans, decides, emotes, and reacts. Its also the part of us that over-thinks, obsessively plans, sits in indecision, represses emotion instead of channeling it, and overreacts. Meditation is a wonderful way to access this body in a balanced and helpful way. Simply sitting and watching your thoughts, opinions, and judgements with a sense of detachment can give you more access to witnessing (and being less identified by the pulls of) this body.

The inner teacher.  This is also often called the Wisdom Body. We can think of it as the highest aspect of our intuition and conscience. It’s the part of you that urges you out of bed to meditate or go for a run when you’d much rather lounge in the sheets checking Facebook. It’s the part of us that always knows the right path to take. Just like we would lift weights to make the physical body strong, we strengthen this body by sitting in silence, and sharpening our ability to hear the voice of our soul. When this body is strong, our daily actions become giant steps forward in the direction of our highest life purpose, our calling, our big destiny. We move from a place of knowingness instead of reaction.

The bliss. It’s pretty amazing that the subtlest aspect of who we are, at the core of all the other bodies, is referred to as an ocean of unending waves of bliss. Ironically, we access this body by actually dis-identifying with everything. To practice being in your bliss body, you can try the Tantric practice of neti neti, a word meaning “not this, not that.” In a meditative seat, notice what arises in your field of awareness. A thought about your job pops up and you say/acknowledge, “I’m not that.” You feel your low back ache a little, same thing: “I’m not that.” You feel your desire for more intimate love, “I’m not that.” A hunger pang arises, “I’m not this.” You sense light in front of your forehead, “I’m not that.” You may even feel, for a split second, the bliss. And in that moment, remember,  “I’m not even that.” The more you keep surrendering into non-identification, the more, the teachings promise, the bliss can flow.

~Katie

This article was originally published on the Yoga Journal Blog on June 25, 2012.

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Fire and Nectar: Creating Balance the Tantric Way

416A6278 I’ve experimented a lot lately, really looking into how to be a balanced lady.

On one hand, I like to dance. I like to dance hard. Like a wild African trance-healer. And on the other hand, I like to sit still. I meditate like a silent sturdy mountain and I feel like Shiva’s best student (or even better, his consort). On one hand, I like to laugh – loudly. I like to run through trees and make love. On the other hand, I know I need to lay down, rub my self in oil and get intimate with my deep belly breath.

Being a yogini means you can KNOW and to DISCERN when you need to be a wild African trance dancer. And when you need to sit in the silence of the present moment.

Most systems of organizing the universe – including Ayurveda, Tantra, and Traditional Chinese medicine – understand this dyad as the two polarity-forces permeating all of nature. The Tantrics referred to these forces as Agni and Soma. The Ayurvedically-inclined called this duo Brahmana and Langhana. The Chinese called it Yin and Yang. You can call it, as does my dear friend and mentor, Dr. Claudia Welch, Ginger and Fred.

You see, the words don’t matter. It’s the way in which we begin to see these two polarities in our own life that will bring insight. For the sake of ease (and because I like saying the word “nectar,”) let’s use Dr. David Frawley’s terms – agni (fire) and soma (nectar).

Agni

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What is agni? Agni means fire. It is both living and conceptual, metaphorical and practical. Fire is transformational. It is the eater, the enjoyer, and is related to your Spirit as a transforming process. It is related to pitta dosha, purity, digestion, clarity of mind. On the hormonal level, it is related to our stress hormones, and our need for activation and stimulation.

How do I build agni? Through things like asana, cleansing techniques (diet), bhanda, tapas, tejas, certain pranayamas and meditations that bring more focus and silence.

Soma

hummingbird

What is soma? Soma means nectar. It is both living and conceptual, metaphorical and practical. Soma is related to earth and water. It is what is eaten and what is enjoyed. It is the body and the moon.  It is related to the kapha dosha and to our core vital essences. It is the nectar and enjoyment of life’s experiences. It is the rasa, the lymph fluids, the immune system, our sexual fluids and the subtle electro-watery secretions of the nervous system from brain to root. It is the Divine Spirit linking all creatures in the “flow of bliss.” In the endocrine system, it is related to our sexual hormones.

How do I build soma? Dr. Frawley says, “When the mind is still and calm like a mountain lake, it will produce its own inner soma.” Inner soma is built through re-attuning to natural wisdom, meditation, mantra, and the descent of “grace” that comes through stillness and silence. Outer somas can be built through balanced sensory enjoyment, the flow of releasing stagnant emotion, through imbibing sacred plant essences (herbs and diet), smells (incense, oils and other aromatics), ritual, and restorative yoga.

~Katie

Photos by Naomi Huober

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Meditation for Building and Healing Sexual Energy

You can do this meditation sitting down, but I find it helpful to lie down with some support under my spine, such as a folded blanket or a bolster. Try working with this practice for at least 40 days, for 15-45 minutes daily.

Close your eyes and let your body relax and settle into its connection to the earth. Feel that you are in a nurturing, soothing place, and that you are fully safe to relax and let go. Notice, for a few minutes, the simple miracle of the breath. The inhale raises the navel center away from you, without you trying, and lowers the belly back onto you as you breathe out. Again, try not to try. Simply watch the belly as you become more and more relaxed.

Now, begin to smooth and even out the inhale and exhale. Take a few minutes to get the inhale and exhale as smooth and even as possible. The more relaxed you become, the subtler the breath becomes. Now, begin to remember love. Remember a time when you felt totally in love, totally safe, and totally nurtured. Take a few minutes to be in this memory of sweet love.

Slowly begin to become aware of where you feel love in your body. What is it like? Is it open or closed? Is it warm or cold? Expanded or contracted? Why does it feel good? Begin to let this love spread to your entire being. Rest for a moment in the love. Anytime you feel yourself coming into self-judgment, come back to the remembrance of love. Tell yourself, “My darling, you are seen; you are loved.” Talk to you inner being like a little girl. Tell her everything is going to be okay. (We do this “little girl” talk because many of our holding patterns are stored from child and girlhood.)

Begin to bring your attention into the space around your tailbone area, all the way around to your pubis and up to the space just below the navel. Blow your awareness up like a balloon at

this area. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your pelvic floor. Breathe out. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your lower back. Breathe out. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your right hipbone. Breathe out. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your left hipbone. Breathe out. Now, breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your entire pelvic bowl (sense this pelvic area that sits low and deep under your belly), the sacred sacrum, the holy place. Take a few minutes to let your awareness swirl around as love and energy in your sacred bowl. Search out any areas that may feel blocked.

When you find these spots, you can see them as blockages sitting on the vast creative capacity you hold in this area of the body, the seat of all rejuvenation and creation. It also sits on the sweet pleasure that your pelvic bowl holds for you. Let your awareness stay in these spots, and keep breathing love, allowing your attention and focus to penetrate the dark corners of your feminine heart. Remember, energy follows focus. The more you can soften into love and send your focus to the stickiness, the greater the chance that the blockage can dissolve and resolve itself. Keep moving your awareness through the visualization and allowing the energy to open and disperse any blocks in your womb.

Finally, there may come a moment when the womb area is just so full of light and openness that you can abandon the technique and simply enjoy breathing into the new space you have created there. Now would be a good time to begin to chant a mantra into the energetic womb connection you have created. The mantra som (pronounced sohm) is an excellent healing tonic for this area.

To come out of the meditation, simply deepen your breath, offering gratitude for the practice. Slowly begin to move your body and come back.

~Katie

*This is drawn from the Sexy section of Healthy, Happy, Sexy. For more healthy, happy goodness to keep on your kitchen counter and nightstand, you can order your own copy here.

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People and Their Deepest Darkest Secrets

I get the honor of meeting with people in private sessions where they reveal to me their deepest, darkest secrets. Here is what most people are so afraid to admit. Its also what ALOT OF US SHARE. Ready?
  1. People want to be having better sex and more intimacy with their significant other.
  2. People feel fat.
  3. People feel totally unworthy of their dreams.
  4. People do one or more things “too much.” They eat too much sugar, drink too much wine, smoke pot, and the most shameful one – they eat for comfort. The crazy part? They know it.
  5. People don’t do one or more things that they really want to be doing. For some reason they gave up yoga, meditation, painting, writing, or singing. And the soul weeps for their lost muse.
You see, sometimes we KNOW what we should do, and we don’t do it. And we know what we SHOULDN’T do and we do do it. You still with me? Tantra says this about our weird inner battle – there is no good and no bad. You shouldn’t do or not do anything. It’s all about what is useful and loving at any given point in time. Breathe. A Sigh. Of Relief.
But it’s still not an excuse to go catatonic in the Lazy-Boy watching The Bachelorette. Tantra also says that until we feel that we are living our purpose, we are gonna’ suffer. That purpose is both service to the world, as well as spiritual liberation (with a side of just straight-up pleasure).
~Katie
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