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Ep. 09 Pulsing Fiery Devasting Love (Tantra Talks #2)

There are many misconceptions about Tantra. Through Tantric practices, we can experience pulsing, fiery, devastating love. However, Tantric wisdom is so much broader than just love for a partner. These practices help us fall in love with ourselves and our everyday lives!

This is Part 2 of our Tantra Talks! Listen to our other Tantra Talks below:

  • Tantra Talk #1: What is Tantra?
  • Tantra Talk #3: Feminine Archetypes of the Glorious Queen, Sacred Prostitute or Worthless Girl

In this love-filled episode, Katie explores:

~ Devotion to Reality

~ Anthropomorphizing of physics

~ Mysticism in Tantra

~ Spanda, pulsation

~ Longing to be free, longing to know

~ The Creation Story

~ Yoga as a subtraction process

~ Giving from the heart

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Learn more:

  • Shakti Ayurveda School
  • Spirit Sessions Membership Community

Help us Spread our Podcast Wings

Are you feeling more in love with your life after today's Tantra Talk? This show is a passion project that I produce for the love of sharing. If you enjoy this show and want a free and easy way to help it grow, the most effective way you can help is to:

  1. Subscribe to the show by clicking “subscribe” in iTunes
  2. Write us a review in iTunes
  3. Share this show with one friend right now!

It’s simple, but you’d be AMAZED to know how much it helps my little love project reach more people. iTunes’ algorithm uses ratings and reviews to know who to show our show to in their app.

Here’s the link to leave us reviews in iTunes.

From my heart to your screen,

Katie

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Let’s Talk About Sex

I am so happy that as a society we're talking about sexuality. Sexual assault, sexual harassment, weird-awkward-aggressive-sex-we-fled-from, etc. Yes, these are all convos about sex, our society’s relationship with it + with power and the dysfunctional social behaviors that manifest from that disintegrated relationship our society has with human sexuality. ⠀

Let’s rewind: Ayurveda teaches conscious channeling of sexual energy, valuing what they called Bramacharya: the wise use of this vital sexual energy. When we are using our sexual energy in a harmonious way, our whole life is infused with more enthusiasm around creative projects—whether that be a business, an artistic expression, or a baby. We also have better health in general because sexual energy is the most refined aspect of our life energy. The more energy we have, the better we feel. ⠀

But human sexuality is about much more than just “sex”. It’s a major pillar of our overall health and wellbeing (I wrote a book about it for a reason!). How do we use our attention and our body? If we look at one of the meanings of the word Bramacharya, we gain insight into what the ancients understood. One interpretation of the word is “to walk with God”; engaging sexuality intentionality, from the heart (your conscience, intuition, or Higher Self) before decision making.⠀

Having a connection to your physical and energetic sexual centers, is key in boosting your/society's health. As women we need to restore the vitality of our sexual energy center & help engage conscious forms of sexuality. When a woman feels tuned in to her sacred sexual essence, a new aliveness begins to pulse within in her. Her health improves. All of us are more balanced and we can usher in a new era.

You can read more in my book Healthy, Happy, Sexy and in our year-long Ayurveda Program which is all about healing our own and our ancestor's inherited patterns.

Oh, and this is a beautiful photo—also a sex photo, cause sexuality is an integral part of our daily lives, including pregnant and mom lives 😉 Let’s talk about sex more, I think everyone on earth would benefit from it.

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Self-Love? How About We Start With SELF-LIKE

The biggest epidemic we face right now is the sickness of our lack of loving ourselves. I hear about it all the time in my line of work. And as I read the millionth blog post about self-love, I take pause. I think a much better place to start is self-like. You can’t fall in love until you fall in like.

Last week, a gorgeous, talented, 20-something woman asked me if I thought she was beautiful. She felt so ugly. Fat. She asked me if I thought she’d ever make something of herself. If I believed in her…I looked at her, mouth-agape. How is the beauty butterfly not landing on this child’s heart? How is the beyond-obviousness of her beauty escaping her?

But I know why.

Inside all of us lives a tiny little wounded bunny. The proverbial Inner child.

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This stuff is so real. Until we actively begin to engage with this creature….like it, snuggle it, ask it what it needs,

get to know it, can we ever hope to truly love it and integrate it. There is so much talk in the spiritual world on transcending. Just get over it. But you can’t get over it until you’ve gone through it. Felt it. Healed it through an intimacy that combines the Love Witness with the Wounded One. That love session creates the alchemical fuel needed to burn and rise.

Self-love can be defined by how capacious we are at actually liking our funny, quirky, silly little inner child. Self-love happens when we know where she/he got hurt, and we remain SUPER gentle with those places (without letting them run the show).

When I was little I would hide peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in my piano bench. I used to hate that little kid and would get mad as she showed up in me as an adult. Why can’t “hide peanut butter sandwich girl just go away!?” I did not like her. In fact, I hated her.

My first step towards healing was a full-on shamanic love fest with her. I had to SEE her. See her geeky glasses, her braces, her chubby fingers, her broken heart that longed to be comforted and understood. I had to be with the fact that she needed soothing. She was a little girl. And she wasn’t getting that soothing from the people that she wanted it from the most. Ergo, peanut butter.

Today I can honestly share that I like that chubby girl. She has mad piano playing skills. She still eats peanut butter. She’s not perfect. She’s emotional. And I like that about her. I’ve worked hard to keep her alive in a world that so often destroys innocence.

Beloved friend – what parts of yourself have you kicked out of your own heart?

Join us in Ayurveda School. I’ll teach you how to fall in like with these unintegrated spaces. And who knows, maybe even fall in love…

~Katie

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The Four Glorious Goals of Life

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When our digestion is good, our sleep is deep and our emotions and sexuality are being channeled properly, we have more energy to engage in our passions and pursuits in life—in Ayurveda, our foremost pursuits are known as the four goals of life.

According to the Vedas (the spiritual root texts of Ayurveda), your soul has four goals or desires, which the texts call the purusharthas, “that which is for the purpose of the soul.” The Ayurvedic tradition takes these four core human motivations and gives us permission to enjoy and pursue them, while not becoming overly attached to any of them. In this way, we can enjoy pleasure, seek success and purpose, strive for material gain, and seek out the practices and mentors that will teach us how to live a more integrated, enlightened, soulful life. By no means will my general overview do justice to the complex tapestry of what these four motivators are or how we can succeed in their fulfillment, but I do hope to give a brief summary, as they are paramount in our sense of total health and happiness.

Life Goal #1: Luscious, Everyday Pleasure

The first goal of life is kama, meaning pleasure or enjoyment. (Surely you’ve heard of the Kama Sutra! A sutra is a teaching, making the Kama Sutra the “pleasure teachings.”) If we are to live life fully, we need life to feel good. There is nothing like the sensory stimulation we get from smelling a baby’s skin, stroking a kitten’s silky fur, seeing a peony in full bloom, or feeling a man’s deltoid dipping down to the nape of his neck. What brings you deep sensory satisfaction?

The great news is that Nature has set it up so that many of the things that feel good to us are also physiologically and emotionally good for us. Science shows that touch (whether a massage therapist’s or a lover’s) increases the hormones in our body that keep our immune system functioning.[EN1] It’s a downright miracle that just the smell of onions simmering in olive oil causes our body to release the very digestive enzymes that it will use to process the food when we eat it. That’s Divine Intelligence, and Mama Nature’s way of saying, “Relish this moment!”

The problem with all this wonderful kama comes when we overindulge. Remember in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Augustus Gloop ends up as a piece of fudge after falling into the river of chocolate? Without proper guidance, the out-of-balance, overindulging aspect of our senses can ignore our internal attempts at regulation. If we leave our senses in the driving seat, we run the risk of overdoing it—whether it be booze, chocolate, shopping, sex, TV, or exercise.

The secret to true fulfillment in the realm of pleasure is self-awareness, moderation, and nonattachment. Nonattachment has not always been an easy thing for me to practice. When I enjoy something, I sometimes wanna hold on. Talking to the Divine has helped me build a form of surrender. Whenever I feel myself clinging to pleasures, I will stop and say something like, “Oh, Divine Mama, let me trust in your infinite abundant sources. May I know that this pleasure may rise and fall, but that you are continually dropping your grace into my life.” When we cling, it is as though we don’t believe in all that the Universe offers; it is as if we are saying that we don’t have faith that pleasure (or whatever it is we want to cling to) is abundant and always waiting for us. It helps me to simply pay attention. I know that I don’t need to cling because when I’m paying attention, I see that the beauty is always being dropped down onto me.

Another way to practice non-attachment is to be deeply aware of the present moment while enjoying pleasure. Think of it as simultaneously relishing and releasing.

Life Goal #2: The Means for Prospering

The second goal of life is artha, or the ways and means of prosperous living. Artha is related to the tools that help us move forward in life. A place to live, enough money to pay the bills, good health, proper clothing, and even our iPhone are all examples of tools that help you move through life with more ease.

Just as we want pleasure, we also love the feeling of abundance and good health. It feels good to rest easy knowing that our basic needs are met. It’s hard to think about the meaning of life when we are pawning our jewelry or arguing with credit-card company minions. And in fact,

Ayurveda encourages us not only to pursue financial abundance, but it also states that without a certain sense of ease around finances, our advancement toward knowing who we are is hindered. Why? Because if we are worried about finances, our mind becomes easily disturbed, fearful and distracted. A similar thing happens with our health. If we are sick, it’s hard to meditate, help our kids with their homework, or launch our dream business.

Imbalance in artha occurs when we become greedy or too focused on materialism. When we have thirteen shades of lip-plumping lipstick and feel we really need just one more, we may have an accumulation problem. I will never forget walking into my neighbor’s house. She had amassed 157 stuffed animals. Shoes (still in their boxes) were stacked from floor to ceiling, wall- to-wall. She had a guest room full of purses (piled on a virtually invisible bed, price tags still attached to many of them). The primary motivating force in her life had become acquiring things. She had slowly built up a safety bubble composed of teddy bears, high heels, and handbags. I think that if we are honest, many of us have a little bit of the crazy-teddy-bear lady inside us. Ayurveda teaches us how to embrace our love for stuffed animals without smothering ourselves with them.

Artha can also be imbalanced when we mistakenly think that we need nothing. I know a few spiritual people who feel wrong or guilty for wanting nice things, like a warm home, soft clothing, or a chocolate bar (even if it’s organic, fair-trade). This is the opposite end of the artha spectrum, and it is just as harmful for our total wellness. The lesson? It’s okay to need things—in moderation and for the purpose of the higher good.

Life Goal #3: Roll Out of Bed With a Purpose

The third goal of life is dharma, or our essential life purpose. In the craziness of daily life, many of us forget what a mind-blowing opportunity it is to be in a human body (as opposed to being born a honey badger). Ayurveda says that every human being comes into this life with a specific dharma, and until we are living that dharma, we will not be happy. My teacher, Rod Stryker, says there is a you-shaped hole in the Universe just waiting to be filled with your full expression as an individual. Until you figure out how to embody your full expression and purpose, you will feel out of sync with what your Higher Self longs to become.

Dharmic pursuits do not necessarily have to fulfill any holier-than-thou requirements, however. Dharma has nothing to do with what we could call “a job,” but is more likened to the unique thing you bring to the table in any of life’s circumstances (be it a job, a relationship or a project). What is more, people working in jobs that may not have cache in society can be quite important on the cosmic scene. For example, have you ever met someone with what our society may consider a lowly or bad job, yet they seem to be totally in love with it? Or they use it to make your day better? That is the embodiment of someone living her dharma.

416A5869416A5804a416A5782In order to align with our essential life purpose, we need enough balance to actually hear the inner voice of our intuition. Most people who are fully working in their passion will tell you that they had no choice; their job chose them. They say they feel a kinetic flow of energy when they are working in the realm of what they love. Researchers such as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi are now confirming the existence of a creative psychological flow space that people enter when they are working in their dharma. Time seems to slow, even stop. Energy levels are high, and there is a feeling of aliveness and presence that gives us even more motivation for the work at hand. Feeling this flow space is a good indication that we are aligned with our dharma and in what Csikszentmihalyi calls the optimal experience in his book Flow.

Life Goal #4: Give Me Liberty

The fourth goal of life is moksha, or freedom. Ultimately, behind all of our actions lies the drive to move beyond the recurring cycles of pain/pleasure and birth/death, and to feel the happiness of not being subject to these polarities. Moksha is waking up in the morning and feeling fearless. Moksha is the sense that there is nothing out there that will bring us ultimate happiness—it’s all inside ourselves. Moksha is truly needing nothing and no one to be whole and complete.

The further we advance on the path of knowing who we are, the more this goal becomes clear and the more we can align our life choices with things that will support our own true freedom. If we become too attached to the idea of freedom, we run the danger of becoming a holier-than-thou, spiritual egoist. I have seen students and friends attempt freedom through the path of what psycho-spiritual experts call “spiritual bypassing”—basically attempting to run away from the “bad” world by checking out into some flaky spiritual zone where we don’t deal with our issues. The teachings state that this is impossible. We can’t run away from pain or pleasure, birth or death, or even our own internal struggles (karmas). What we can do is learn how to become a loving witness to all of life’s duality.

Real moksha is about tapping in. It’s about seeing the bigger picture, what life looks like beyond our own motivations. You can measure your success in the realm of moksha by how fearlessly and joyfully you live your life in this current, imperfect world, as well as how well you surrender your negative feelings when you don’t get what you want. It’s also about seeing things as they really are and moving beyond the material world. But the stuff that flashes on billboards, the phone calls, the dinner dates, the news, and the warm touch of a loved one are all very real to us, so the more we work toward knowing who we are, the more we can delight in the existence of this illusory, temporary world of the senses, while at the same time experiencing the Divine delight behind it all. In this sense, we become free because we are fully and delightfully engaged with the temporal beauty of life as it is unfolding.

~Katie

Read more in Healthy, Happy, Sexy!

Photos by Naomi Huober

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How to Fall in Love Yogi Style

If you have ever been in love, you know that there is an incredible amount of power, or shakti, behind falling into the wild rapture of delighting in someone else. There is so much power in the experience of love, in fact, that we have created a whole culture and consumer landscape around trying to get more of it.

Yogis understand that where there is power, there is potential fertile ground for connecting deeper into our heart and soul. But the object of love was way less important than the act of loving itself. Yogis fall in love by realizing that what they love, and the part of themselves that is able to love, is actually the same thing.

A yogi also uses the remembrance of love to connect to the release of bliss-bombs in their own heart. Now, this may sound very “dolphins and rainbows,” but science supports the bliss-bomb theory. When we are in love (or feel deeply understood, or cuddle a kitty, or get a massage), there is an increase of the hormone oxytocin in our system. This blissful hormone has been shown to be the polar opposite of our stress hormones, allowing us to feel relaxed, safe, trusting and generous. Studies show that people with high amounts of oxytocin experience less loneliness and physical pain. They were also shown to be better communicators, and to feel more connected to their work and the people around them.

We can learn from the yogic philosophy of love. We don’t necessarily need an external event, or lover, to catalyze our own waterfall of juicy oxytocin and emotional fulfillment. We can use some simple yogic practices to fall in love from within. And the best part? When we fall in love from within, we may actually attract more love from the outside—teddy-bear-shaped hearts and all.

Four Tips on Getting More Yogi Love

1. The power of loving what already is. Take pause to appreciate what surrounds you in the moment. Gain pleasure from what already is, without grasping for what could be. Ask yourself, “What is it about this moment (or this room, person, place) that is absolutely worthy of my love and appreciation?” Feel that love fill you up as you express contentment with exactly what you already have.

2. The power of loving touch. Yoga teaches us how to soften ourselves enough to be touched by life. On a physical level, any kind of appropriate touching has been shown to increase oxytocin and reduce stress hormones in the body. Whether it be a gentle massage, a warm hug, or the intimate touch of a lover, fill your life up with opportunities for skin-rubbing sweetness. If you live with love ones, try giving more touch. If you live alone, surround yourself with friends who don’t mind doling out the tender embraces.

3. The power of loving selflessly. My teacher, Rod Stryker, encourages us to meditate on “love without ownership.” This is a beautiful practice for cultivating non-attachment around the people and things we already have in our lives. The yogis knew that we could love better, and more authentically, when we loved people without trying to own or change them. Practice daily acts of selfless love with no expectation for returns on investment. My fellow yogini, Rachel Meyer, used to make a love-filled cake every Saturday and give it to someone who may have had a hard week. Do you knowanyone who may need an unexpected and heartfelt treat?

4. The power of loving remembrance. There is a powerful Tantric practice for increasing the feeling of love in your life. Begin by allowing yourself to close your eyes and settle into your breath. As you become more and more relaxed, allow yourself to remember a time in your life when you felt very deeply and utterly “in love.” It may have been through the experience of a lover’s embrace, receiving a drawing from your child, or a sunset in your backyard that called your heart to open. Remember this, and feel the remembrance of the love in the body. Then, leave the memory behind and pay close attention to the feeling sensations of the “being in” love. Watch how it grows and expands on its own as you experience the delight of objectless love.

~Katie

This article was originally published in the Yoga Journal Blog on February 10, 2012.

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We’ve been taught to chase healing like an endle We’ve been taught to chase healing like an endless laundry list of ways to “fix” ourselves. ⁠
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But nervous system regulation doesn’t come from doing more…it comes from being with what’s here.⁠
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If you’ve been feeling amped, anxious or like your nervous system’s running on fumes, I FEEL YOU. ⁠
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And you’re not alone. ⁠
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But the truth is: your body was never meant to live in fight-or-flight all the time. ⁠
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What is more, have you ever noticed that you feel GUILTY about feeling out of whack? ⁠
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It’s like a double whammy to the soul (and the nervous system). ⁠
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Here’s what I want us all to remember: your nervous system isn’t broken.�⁠
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It’s just overwhelmed. Overcooked. Overlooked. I know you, because I AM you. ⁠
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Here are a few new ways I’ve been helping myself calm down from the inside out:⁠
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1️⃣ 🌬 Low-belly breath and minerals in my water before coffee. Two minutes. Hands on your womb. Feel the exhale lengthen. Drink water BEFORE caffeine in the AM. ⁠
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2️⃣ 🌿 Warm and wet heals everything. Warm water, warm foods, warm embraces and warm words to yourself.⁠
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3️⃣ 💃 Micro-movement = macro-shift. Roll your shoulders. Circle your hips. Shake for 60 seconds. ⁠
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4️⃣ 🕯 Create a micro-altar. Light a candle. Put a sticky note on it. Whatever it takes to find moments of intention.⁠
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5️⃣ 💗 Replace self-fixing with LOVING the ever loving heck out of this incarnation. You don’t need another plan. You need presence and love dropping down into your flesh like HONEY. ⁠
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With love,�Katie⁠
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💻 Want my FREE video masterclass on Somatic Ayurveda: Balance Your Nervous System with Ancient Embodiment? Just comment ENERGY below and I’ll send you the class where we dive in deep.⁠
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✨ At The Shakti School, we believe women's wellness isn't another protocol to perfect. It's a lifelong relationship with your body, your intuition and the wisdom of Ayurveda. Early Bird registration for our 2027 Level 1 training is officially open: comment AYURVEDASCHOOL to book a free coaching call and learn more.
Ready to learn how to transform your digestion wit Ready to learn how to transform your digestion with Ayurveda and support others in doing the same?! We have a whole module on Nutrition & Ayurvedic Cleansing in Ayurveda School Level 1, plus cooking classes with incredible chefs to inspire you! ⁠
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In the Nutrition & Cleansing Module we cover:⁠
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🥄  Six Tastes, Cravings, Rasa⁠
🥄  Digestion⁠
🥄  Kitchen Setup and Cooking Basics & Making Kitchari⁠
🥄  Cleansing Guide⁠
 🥄 Psychology of Eating⁠
🥄  Embodied Nourishment & Cooking⁠
🥄  Ayurvedic-Inspired Desserts Making⁠
🥄  Ayurvedic Dinner for the Whole Family Cooking Tutorial ⁠
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...and so much more!⁠
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Want to dive deeper? Katie shares ALL the Ayurvedic digestion secrets in Episode 4 of Spirit Sessions. Tune in wherever you listen to podcasts or comment “004” and we’ll send the episode straight to your DMs! ⁠
Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can be so Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can be so thirsty but water alone doesn’t seem to satiate?

That’s because our tissues need to be coaxed into opening up to receive the moisture of deeper hydration. 

Ancient Ayurveda understood that simply pouring water into our systems is like throwing water onto a hard stone. In order to soften the tissues of the body to be able to receive the moisture and nourishment, we need carriers like herbs, foods and minerals.

Here are a few of my modern takes on hydrating helpfully with delicious summer elixirs. Each of these work with approximately 3-5 cups of purified or filtered water. 💧

• Add 1/2 a lime and a 1/4 tsp of sea or rock salt to water.

• Add 1 T food grade organic aloe to your water (add 1 tsp honey and 1/2 a lime’s juice to make it even more delish).

• Use a squirt of Trace Minerals to your water - 20 drops or so will do.

• Add 1 tsp of raw honey or maple syrup, 1/2 a lemon and 1/4 teaspoon of ground licorice powder.

• Make a cup of nettles tea (use 2-3 bags for a strong infusion). After the tea cools, add it to your drinking water. Nettles are chocked full of natural minerals.

• Blend 4 lemons, 2 grapefruits and 1 lime (peeled, add the whole fruit excusing seeds) to 4 cups of water. Strain and store in the fridge for a concentrated hydration ingredient ready for your water throughout the week.

• Drink coconut water + 1 full lime juiced +1/4 teaspoon pink rock salt- add to normal water or drink alone.

• Add one dropper full of liquid chlorophyll - a great source of copper.

1/4 teaspoon slippery elm powder and 1/4 teaspoon marshmallow powder. Blend into water for a quick hydration help, or steep as a tea.

• Blend a whole peeled cucumber into a blender with the water for fast hydration.

Ready to go deeper? Get our FREE class, Somatic Ayurveda: Balance Your Nervous System with Ancient Embodiment and discover how Ayurveda, Tantra and neuroscience can help you cultivate greater regulation, vitality and presence. 

🌌 Comment ENERGY below to get the class recording.
One of the best parts of our school is our incredi One of the best parts of our school is our incredible faculty. I always say that they are “smart ➕ heart.” Last week we had this beautiful goddess, @sandhiyaramaswamy - teaching the depths of Ayurveda Philosophy AND teaching us her mother’s recipes from her own kitchen. ❤️
Different foods require different digestive enzyme Different foods require different digestive enzymes to break them down.⁠
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Throwing two foods with dramatically different enzymatic requirements at your body is like yelling at your belly, "Hey, you, work harder!" ⁠
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By avoiding these sad-belly food combinations, we make life easy for our poor little tummy, and it can respond by giving us great digestion and amazing glowy-ness.⁠
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Here's the deal:⁠
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1. Eating fruit alone is best. Melon should always be eaten alone.⁠
2. Milk should be taken alone or with things that are sweet (grains, honey, brown sugar, etc.) Milk digests best when it is hot and spiced. Great milk spices include: cardamom, cinnamon, turmeric, black pepper, and nutmeg. Milk has a particularly hard time alongside bananas, sour fruits, yeasty breads, fish/meat, and yogurt.⁠
3. Avoid eating any dairy products with fish.⁠
4. Eggs don't mix well with fruit, milk, meat and yogurt.⁠
5. Honey should never be boiled or cooked. Mix it with warming spices, warm milk or combine with ghee (in equal amounts by volume, not weight).⁠
6. Nightshades (eggplant, tomatoes, potatoes) don't mix well with melon, cucumber or dairy.⁠
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Happy food combining! 🫚 ⁠
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🪔 Ready to deepen your relationship with Divine Feminine Ayurveda? Comment WISDOM and we’ll send you our free course, Women’s Wisdom and Ayurveda so that you can start diving in right now.⁠
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🌿 If you're ready to learn how to eat, live and move in harmony with your unique body and the rhythms of nature, we'd love to welcome you into our community. Early Bird registration for our 2027 Level 1 Ayurvedic Wellness Coach Certification Training is now open: comment AYURVEDASCHOOL for more information or to book a free call with one of our graduates.

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