The Shakti School

Feminine Form Sacred Technology

women health

Why Other People’s Baby, Engagement Ring, Kick-Ass Job, and Even Deepak Chopra Have Nothing to Do With You

The other day I posted a heart-felt sentiment on Facebook. I think, in the history of my Face-Life, I have never gotten so many “likes.” My friend and student, Martine, encouraged me to write it up as a longer blog post.

The comment:

 

I think it spoke to what many of us feel whilst scanning the Facebook “I’m super happy, tan, at-the-beach, cuddling-with-my-puppy/baby/ferret, engaged, pregnant, skinny, surrounded-by-beautiful-women, look-at-my-food-porn” created reality of our “friends.”

 

And trust me – I’m not immune to this reality manipulation as well. Id MUCH rather show all my friends/fans/students/family the “somtimes-moments” of me dancing Natarajasana on a mountain in my spandex-encased, J-lo-esque bootie than the other “sometimes-moments” of my life where I have eaten too much, am laying on the floor, bloated and crying, my mother praying over me for Jesus to help her poor food-compulsed daughter to lay off the chocolate chip cookies and gouda.

 

Don’t act shocked by what I just wrote. You know you have a dark side-compulsive thing you do (drink wine out of a water bottle at your kids playground? watch porn instead of being truly intimate with your wife? go to Cross-fit like a maniac? stay at the office to avoid your media-juiced kids?). But you aren’t posting that shit to the web. Of course not.

 

But I digress. So, let’s go back to the back story that inspired me to really NEVER believe the hype that says that someone else’s happiness reduces my own. 

 

I learned that amazing truth from a teacher years back. This great teacher told us a story about how long, long ago, he felt jealous of someone who is now a very famous author and spiritual teacher (ok, lets just say it was Deepak Chopra). Every time he heard Deepak’s name it would feel like a thorn in his side. And you may remember that there was a time when Deepak was everywhere (especially everywhere in Los Angeles).

 

But being a good Tantric practitioner, instead of silently rebuking good ole’ Deepak, my teacher began to ask the question we should all ask when we feel the pangs of jealousy. “What is it about this person that is reflecting some unfulfilled longing in ME?” He realized that he himself wanted to be showing up in the world more, reaching more people, writing books, and fulfilling his own deepest purpose. As soon as he began to realize these things internally and tangibly, the silent Deepak-hating completely went away. Completely. Now, did Deepak change? Nope, not one bit. In fact, Deepak continues to become more famous and successful and tan and kind of wonderfully weird. And good for him.

 

You see, there is zero relationship between what other people are attaining and what you are NOT attaining. We live a lie whereby we feel we must compete for the good stuff. There is only so much money. So many resources. So much love. So many yoga students. So many opportunities.

 

But the truth of the matter is (and this is what Tantra teaches), your INTERNAL state dictates your happiness. If you are annoyed by someone’s success (or anything about someone else really), you gotta look it in the face and say, “Hello Guru, what can you teach me?”

 

I have been committed to the path of “there is no competition” for years. The commitment to using the “pangs” of negative emotion (jealousy, anger, fear, sadness) as teachers has been the toughest and most fruitful journey of my life. But slowly, I can see the way this path begets FREEDOM. I am the creator of my own happiness. And when I see YOUR insanely-edible baby, your amazing new hairstyle, your crazy-bendy yoga body, your food-porn, your hunky, flannel-wearing, lumber-jack-bearded-husband, your amazing way with words, your crazy-gorgeous engagement ring, your new book, you covered in snakes with zero-cellulite in your tight white yoga pants, your sky-diving abilities, your commitment to changing the world, your Cross-fit body, or any other attainment on your horizon, I am overcome with joy. Just joy. Anything else is just fuel for my own burning.

 

Pass it on.

~Katie

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Kick off the New Year with Delicious Self-Care – The Ayurvedic Daily Ritual

Alright ladies and gentlemen, it’s the New Year. We are all a-buzz with that excitement of new vistas and catalytic potentialities. And, wanna’ know the best way to super-charge your dreams? Start taking care of your body. Your mind will thank you.

Here is my basic Daily Ritual, pulled straight from my soon-to-be-published book on living healthy, happy and sexy with ancient Ayurveda:

Morning Routine

Your morning routine begins the night before: Getting in bed by 10 or 10:30 PM (can be a little later in the summer) will help you start the morning off right.

  1. Wake up at sunrise: If you are exhausted, sick or elderly, please sleep as long as you like. Upon waking, do not get out of bed right away. Try to be aware of your body and feel grateful to be alive before your toes touch earth. Pray.
  2. Drink warm lemon water: This helps to wash the G.I. tract, flushes the kidneys and stimulates peristalsis. If your digestion is sluggish, add 1/2 tsp ginger root powder.
  3. Nature calls: Going to the bathroom upon waking will help clear your digestive system. A healthy “motion” will have a soft brown log quality, little odor and will be well-formed (like a banana). Undigested food, foul odor, mucous, excessive dryness or “pellet-like” quality suggests a digestive imbalance. Altering diet, lifestyle and using herbs will help better this.
  4. Gently scrape your tongue: Buy a silver tongue scraper. Scrape from back to front 5-8 times. The tongue is a mirror of your intestines. When there is a thick white coating on the tongue, it is indicative that ama (toxins) are present. Tongue scraping helps prevent diseases of the oral cavity, improves our ability to taste, gets rids of old food debris and prevents bad odor in the mouth.
  5. Wash the face, mouth, teeth and eyes: Splash your face with cool water. Wash the eyes with cool water or real-deal rose water. You can also buy an eye cup at most pharmacies and use for washing the eyes. Massage your gums with sesame oil. This improves oral hygiene, prevents bad breath, increases circulation to gums, heals bleeding gums and helps us maintain strong healthy teeth.
  6. Mouth detox: Take 1-2 tablespoons of pure sesame oil (not toasted) in the mouth. Gargle and swish until it creates a liquid texture (about 10-15 minutes), and then spit out into trash can. This strengthens teeth, gums and jaw. It also improves the voice, and is said to remove wrinkles from the cheeks! I know you may think 10-15 minutes is a long time – but, just swish it around while you do something else (like your self-massage).
  7. Use a neti pot: Add 1/4 teaspoon of salt to warm water in the pot and drain through each nostril. Afterwards, put 3-5 drops of warm sesame oil or ghee in the nostrils to lubricate the nose. This keeps the sinuses cleans, improves voice, vision and mental clarity. Our nose is the door to the brain. Nose drops nourish our prana and enhance intelligence.
  8. Abhyanga (Self-massage): Massage is one of our greatest allies for total health. It nourishes and soothes the nervous systems, stimulates lymphatic flow and aids in detoxification. It also improves circulation, increases vitality, nourishes the skin and promotes body/mind balance.
  9. Exercise: One of greatest allies in moving towards balance, exercise boosts the immune system and is an excellent way to counteract depression. Exercise daily to half capacity. We want to get a little sweaty glow, but not burn out before our day begins.
  10. Bathe: Use natural products.
  11. Meditate: Begin your day with some form of breath-work and meditation. Start with five minutes and work up to at least 20 minutes daily. I sometimes do my meditation before exercise, which is also fine.
  12. Eat breakfast.

Lunch Routines

  1. Try to make lunch your biggest meal of the day. Eat in a pleasant, calm place without distraction.
  2. Take some time to bless the food prior to eating.
  3. After eating, if you can lay down on your left side for 5-20 minutes, this is ideal. Why? Because it helps the digestive organs to do their work to assimilate the meal. If you are at work, even just leaning to the left side in your chair will be helpful.

Afternoon/Early Evening routines

  1. One afternoon routine that helps you deeply relax into your evening is the practice of yoga nidra – a yogi nap. Its also nice to do this prior to dinner, just before sunset.
  2. Eat light at night: Having your last meal before sun-down, and at least 3 hours before bedtime will ensure better sleep. If you feel don’t feel hungry, drink one of my nighty-night tonics like my Golden Yogini Milk.

Nighty-Night Routines

There is no excuse, anymore, for us to not be sleeping. Women need sleep. Men need sleep. Bunnies need sleep. Everybody on the planet needs 6-8 hours of sleep on a regular basis. As Ayurveda expert and author, Dr. Claudia Welch says, “Every cell in the body needs stimulation, and every cell in the body needs nourishment.” Just as we need to exercise, we also need to surrender into rest.

It is also impossible to accomplish your goals if you are chronically sleep-deprived. Plus, your mind/body uses sleep as the washing machine for the subconscious mind. If we aren’t slipping into deep dream-time every night, much of our toxic, unprocessed emotions and experiences don’t get drained away. As Dr. Robert Svoboda says, “Sleep is the wet nurse of society.” Raise your hand if you feel like you need to be wet-nursed?

Ayurveda offers an ideal way for transitioning from the activity of the day into the sacred chamber of sleep. Following these routines will make sleep come effortlessly, and will help keep you asleep through the night:

  1. Set the mood: Depending on the season (in the winter it may be earlier), start turning off overhead lights after dinner. Avoid fluorescent lights always, but especially at night. Low lighting helps tell your body it is time to go to sleep. Lots of light confuses your circadian rhythms and messes with the natural hormones that pull you into the “sleepy feeling.” One of the first questions I people who suffer from insomnia is, “Are your overhead lights still on at 8 and 9 PM?” Switch to low level lighting, candles, or install dimmers on your overhead lights to set the mood for sleep.
  2. No more screen-time: Set an intention to turn off all screens (computers, cellphones, TVs) by 8 or 9 PM. Science now confirms that screens and lighting are also messing with our circadian rhythms.
  3. Be in bed by 10 PM: Have you ever noticed that you get a second wind around 10:30 PM? That’s because the metabolic energy your body normally uses for detoxing you while you sleep gets diverted to mental energy, and we get activated. Our body detoxifies and rejuvenates from 10 PM – 2 AM. When we stay up late, we truly do miss out on beauty sleep. If you currently go to bed at mid-night, use the fifteen-minute rule. Each night, trying going to bed a mere 15 minutes earlier. Within a few weeks, you will soundly sleeping at 10 PM.
  4. Take a warm bath: Taking a scented warm bath can help reset the nervous system towards sleep. Use oils such as frakenscense, myrrh, lavender, honeysuckle, jatamamsi, sandalwood, chamomile, neroli or pure rose for deep slumber.
  5. Avoid too much mental stimulation: Don’t watch evening news. It’s toxic for your dreams. Similarly, avoid planning your future, having intense conversations or any other activity that promotes mental movement before bed.
  6. Light a candle, read a sweet book that makes your heart melt. Say some prayers, and turn in.
  7. Unravel the day: There is a powerful meditative practice for unraveling the day. It actually builds your power of assimilation and boosts memory. Once in bed and laying down, mentally go backwards through your day in increments of 30 minutes. Try to simply register what was happening to you during the day without judgement. Notice your feelings, relax and let all events go. End with the point where you woke up in the morning. Gently drift into sleep.

~Katie

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Curb Unhealthy Cravings

When I feel the chill of winter near, I start to dream of warm, foamy chocolate; hot toddies; and long, luscious sleep. And this is a good thing. Naturally, the fall and early winter season season beg for more heaviness and warmth in both the foods we eat and in our lifestyle routines. The downside of this season is that it is also a time for overindulgence and strong cravings, especially when we couple the cold weather with the stressors of the holiday rush.

One of my favorite Ayurvedic authors, Dr. Robert Svoboda, says, “If Ayurveda were a religion, Nature would be her god, and overindulgence would be her only sin.” And I’ve definitely experienced my fair share of “sinning.” But the good news is that in the world of Ayurveda, there is no need for guilt and atonement when it comes to working with overindulgence and taming our cravings. In fact, it requires a heavy dose of self-awareness and self-compassion. All of us, to a certain extent, use substances (particularly food) to effect our mood and mind. And according to Ayurveda, when we lack self-awareness, we will actually choose the very foods that will bring us into deeper states of imbalance. Oh my!

So, those of us with more vata will crave energy-boosting sweet tastes for that instant energetic high—and a subsequent energy crash. Similarly, fiery pitta types will typically crave meat and spicy foods that create more heat and intensity in the short-run, but can lead to more internal inflammation over time. Kapha types will lean toward heavy fried foods or sweets—comfort food—that lead to more lethargy and dullness.

So how can we turn our body’s cravings into body wisdom? The first step is awareness. Start to notice the foods that you crave when you feel awesome and balanced. When you feel good, you will probably be choosing foods that make you feel even better! Then, notice the foods you choose when you are sad, angry, exhausted, or just plain stressed out. These are usually the foods that will be more harmful for your constitution. Easy peasy. The foods you crave when  you feel great are the ones that fuel you in a good way. The ones you crave when you feel bad, they’re the harmful ones.

There is a really powerful moment in time when we can move from an old pattern (overindulgence with food, shopping, media, sex—anything!) to a new pattern. Once you have connected with self-awareness, notice what you are craving. Take the time to check in and ask yourself, “What do I really need? Would moving in a different direction than my habitual pattern actually allow me to feel better tomorrow?” When we can shift the pattern, we release ourselves from the pains of addiction, and we free up energy to move toward our life goals and our spiritual journey.

How? Well, you can start small. Give a little of the poison. If your body/mind is used to getting a few glasses of wine or a big bowl of ice cream each night, simply taking it away from yourself can be like ripping a bottle out of a baby’s mouth! Try reducing the amount of what you deem to be an addictive or unhealthy substance by one-third each week.

You can also replace the substance with something else. For example, instead of too much alcohol, try a hot ginger-spiced milk and a long, essential-oil infused bath. Your body/mind may not even notice the ol’ swaperoo! Be compassionate with yourself. No one, especially not you, is served through harsh self-judgement. Sometimes we all indulge our unhealthy cravings. If we can indulge with awareness and moderation, the effects are usually quite benign.

So, practice self-compassion when you overindulge in dark chocolate, Facebook, or pizza. Put your hand on your own heart and say silently or aloud, “Oh, look, my darling, you just overindulged in (fill-in-the-blank). You must be really tired (sad, angry, lonely, etc.).”

I have found that the more I connect to this process, the less I actually use substances to shift my moods and energy levels. I also experience tiny miracles popping up all throughout my daily life as self-awareness turns into self-compassion. And who doesn’t need a big ol’ oversized helping of that?

~Katie

This article was originally published on the Yoga Journal blog on November 7, 2013.

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