trauma

My Love Letter to You This Month

This is a major time for change. The Solstice is coming. Can you feel the quickening weather changes? The tides turning? That SOLAR energy asking us to burn the old and snake-skin shed into our BECOMING? Yeah, me too. And it's not always easy to shed our skin.

When I heard of the murder of George Floyd weeks back, I intentionally held back on speaking. Truthfully, my own nervous system felt just completely overwhelmed. I wanted to process in order to be able to respond appropriately. I wanted to be able to come to the community as a beacon of stability and love.

I feel that capacity online in my system now. I know this is not about me or what is going on in my personal life. I just want you to know why I didn’t respond immediately. It was because I wanted to respond thoughtfully, authentically and from a resourced place.

Over the last two weeks, I’ve been communicating with trusted friends and colleagues, both BIPOC and white friends that I know have a background in race equity. They have recommended resources to me, both professionally and personally, to deepen my education on how to be a better race advocate and ally.

My response has also been slow because I'm committed to authenticity. I don't want to be just another white person parroting back the current narrative used by many, and then moving on. I actually want to be changed and melted by this. This is the definition of yoga - to have the unconscious stuff made conscious.

This is a whole body, emotional experience. It is not enough to simply write an instagram post. I want to act and stand in solidarity with the Black community in dismantling racism once and for all. And I also want it to come from a trauma-informed, authentic place within me. 

And I also want to honor the fact that there are as many black experiences and opinions as there are black people. I realize that we are in a very necessary deconstruction time, where race matters. But I also hope that this break down can lead to a rebuilding that does hold true to the vision of MLK - where we will be judged by who we are and not the color of our skin. I realize that is a journey that will take time and effort from all of us.

I come before this topic with much humility and even moments of confusion. I am not an expert, in any way shape or form in this realm. I am a somewhat new student to this world, and I will make a conscious effort to continue to learn because it is important to our mind, body, soul and the well-being of others.

I am also deeply aware that it is so difficult for many white people to speak at this moment in a way that doesn’t hurt, dismiss or offend and I want to walk gently. I also believe that ALL beings have the right to think for themselves and should never be coerced or shamed.