The Shakti School

Feminine Form Sacred Technology

tantra

People and Their Deepest Darkest Secrets

I get the honor of meeting with people in private sessions where they reveal to me their deepest, darkest secrets. Here is what most people are so afraid to admit. Its also what ALOT OF US SHARE. Ready?
  1. People want to be having better sex and more intimacy with their significant other.
  2. People feel fat.
  3. People feel totally unworthy of their dreams.
  4. People do one or more things “too much.” They eat too much sugar, drink too much wine, smoke pot, and the most shameful one – they eat for comfort. The crazy part? They know it.
  5. People don’t do one or more things that they really want to be doing. For some reason they gave up yoga, meditation, painting, writing, or singing. And the soul weeps for their lost muse.
You see, sometimes we KNOW what we should do, and we don’t do it. And we know what we SHOULDN’T do and we do do it. You still with me? Tantra says this about our weird inner battle – there is no good and no bad. You shouldn’t do or not do anything. It’s all about what is useful and loving at any given point in time. Breathe. A Sigh. Of Relief.
But it’s still not an excuse to go catatonic in the Lazy-Boy watching The Bachelorette. Tantra also says that until we feel that we are living our purpose, we are gonna’ suffer. That purpose is both service to the world, as well as spiritual liberation (with a side of just straight-up pleasure).
~Katie
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Why Other People’s Baby, Engagement Ring, Kick-Ass Job, and Even Deepak Chopra Have Nothing to Do With You

The other day I posted a heart-felt sentiment on Facebook. I think, in the history of my Face-Life, I have never gotten so many “likes.” My friend and student, Martine, encouraged me to write it up as a longer blog post.

The comment:

 

I think it spoke to what many of us feel whilst scanning the Facebook “I’m super happy, tan, at-the-beach, cuddling-with-my-puppy/baby/ferret, engaged, pregnant, skinny, surrounded-by-beautiful-women, look-at-my-food-porn” created reality of our “friends.”

 

And trust me – I’m not immune to this reality manipulation as well. Id MUCH rather show all my friends/fans/students/family the “somtimes-moments” of me dancing Natarajasana on a mountain in my spandex-encased, J-lo-esque bootie than the other “sometimes-moments” of my life where I have eaten too much, am laying on the floor, bloated and crying, my mother praying over me for Jesus to help her poor food-compulsed daughter to lay off the chocolate chip cookies and gouda.

 

Don’t act shocked by what I just wrote. You know you have a dark side-compulsive thing you do (drink wine out of a water bottle at your kids playground? watch porn instead of being truly intimate with your wife? go to Cross-fit like a maniac? stay at the office to avoid your media-juiced kids?). But you aren’t posting that shit to the web. Of course not.

 

But I digress. So, let’s go back to the back story that inspired me to really NEVER believe the hype that says that someone else’s happiness reduces my own. 

 

I learned that amazing truth from a teacher years back. This great teacher told us a story about how long, long ago, he felt jealous of someone who is now a very famous author and spiritual teacher (ok, lets just say it was Deepak Chopra). Every time he heard Deepak’s name it would feel like a thorn in his side. And you may remember that there was a time when Deepak was everywhere (especially everywhere in Los Angeles).

 

But being a good Tantric practitioner, instead of silently rebuking good ole’ Deepak, my teacher began to ask the question we should all ask when we feel the pangs of jealousy. “What is it about this person that is reflecting some unfulfilled longing in ME?” He realized that he himself wanted to be showing up in the world more, reaching more people, writing books, and fulfilling his own deepest purpose. As soon as he began to realize these things internally and tangibly, the silent Deepak-hating completely went away. Completely. Now, did Deepak change? Nope, not one bit. In fact, Deepak continues to become more famous and successful and tan and kind of wonderfully weird. And good for him.

 

You see, there is zero relationship between what other people are attaining and what you are NOT attaining. We live a lie whereby we feel we must compete for the good stuff. There is only so much money. So many resources. So much love. So many yoga students. So many opportunities.

 

But the truth of the matter is (and this is what Tantra teaches), your INTERNAL state dictates your happiness. If you are annoyed by someone’s success (or anything about someone else really), you gotta look it in the face and say, “Hello Guru, what can you teach me?”

 

I have been committed to the path of “there is no competition” for years. The commitment to using the “pangs” of negative emotion (jealousy, anger, fear, sadness) as teachers has been the toughest and most fruitful journey of my life. But slowly, I can see the way this path begets FREEDOM. I am the creator of my own happiness. And when I see YOUR insanely-edible baby, your amazing new hairstyle, your crazy-bendy yoga body, your food-porn, your hunky, flannel-wearing, lumber-jack-bearded-husband, your amazing way with words, your crazy-gorgeous engagement ring, your new book, you covered in snakes with zero-cellulite in your tight white yoga pants, your sky-diving abilities, your commitment to changing the world, your Cross-fit body, or any other attainment on your horizon, I am overcome with joy. Just joy. Anything else is just fuel for my own burning.

 

Pass it on.

~Katie

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Ayurveda Can Change Your Life – Ten Things You May Not Know About Yoga’s Sister

The yoga world has a lesser-known sister and her name is Ayurveda. For thousands of years, yoga and Ayurveda were seen as necessary compliments to one another. But somewhere along the way, we fell in love with yoga and yet forgot about Ayurveda.

And although some famous mamas like Madonna, Christy Turlington, and the Grand Priestess of Get-Your-Act-Together (Oprah) have touted its health-boosting benefits, Ayurveda remains largely an exotic Indian mystery.

I heard about Ayurveda in India. I was studying with a sweet old Brahmin man named A.G. Mohan. I remember thinking, wow, this is amazing and its never gonna’ be applicable to my life back in the U.S. But the more I studied it, the more I realized that it was all about developing deep self-awareness. It was also about humbling the ego (that tells you that you really deserve an entire bar of dark chocolate) to the laws of Nature.

I feel like its time for yoga’s powerhouse sister to come out of hiding and begin infusing our practices and lives with rich, time-tested wisdom.  I wanna’ help her, so here is my mini-Ayurveda primer, just for you.

Ayurveda – which means “Science of Life,” holds the following premises as true:

1.  If Ayurveda were a religion (it’s not), Nature is God and the only sin is not listening to your higher-knowing.

2.  Nature has cycles – daily and seasonal. When we learn them, we can ride them and glean some of their power. When we ignore them, we suffer. When we tune to natural rhythms, our body becomes more balanced naturally. (e.g. being in bed asleep by 10 p.m. instead of surfing Amazon is one example of tuning to natural rhythm).

3.  The body is a wise, Spirit-infused, breathing-animal, mind-matrix charged with an electro-intelligence called prana (energy).  When prana is flowing where it should, you GLOW. Plain and simple.

4.  You are a unique, special snowflake, just like everybody else. Because each individual is unique, you will have different needs. This holds true whether we are talking about what you eat, how many times a month you have sex, or how often and what you do for exercise.

5.  Disease can be caused by a number of things – but at its core, disease is caused by forgetting who we are  – A Timeless Spirit Being.

6.  There is one answer to any question in Ayurveda: It depends.

7.  Energy follows focus. Our experience of life, how we see the world “out there,” and whether we are happy or not, is largely determined by our energy. When we change our energy, our thoughts change. When we change our thoughts, energy shifts in that direction.

8.  Oil your machine – don’t wait for your body to start creaking and cracking before you oil it! Like any fine-tuned instrument, the body needs to be oiled. So go slap some coconut oil on your fine thighs. Now.

9.  Many people are fatigued and depressed/anxious because they aren’t living the life they want to live.

10.  You can’t stop constipation by eating more raw cauliflower. Okay, this one is a stretch, but raw food, if you are already constipated, ain’t gonna help. Ayurveda understands that anything can turn to poison in the body if your metabolism can’t digest it. Yes, even raw organic goji-berry-acai-kale smoothies. Lay off the cold beverages, cold sandwiches, carrots, raw nuts and raw veggies if you suffer from anxiety, insomnia or constipation. Drink some warm ginger tea, eat some soup and rub your body in oil.

I hope this list will get you started on at least becoming curious about what this philosophy and science has to offer your life.

Share it! Live it!

~Katie

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How to Fall in Love Yogi Style

If you have ever been in love, you know that there is an incredible amount of power, or shakti, behind falling into the wild rapture of delighting in someone else. There is so much power in the experience of love, in fact, that we have created a whole culture and consumer landscape around trying to get more of it.

Yogis understand that where there is power, there is potential fertile ground for connecting deeper into our heart and soul. But the object of love was way less important than the act of loving itself. Yogis fall in love by realizing that what they love, and the part of themselves that is able to love, is actually the same thing.

A yogi also uses the remembrance of love to connect to the release of bliss-bombs in their own heart. Now, this may sound very “dolphins and rainbows,” but science supports the bliss-bomb theory. When we are in love (or feel deeply understood, or cuddle a kitty, or get a massage), there is an increase of the hormone oxytocin in our system. This blissful hormone has been shown to be the polar opposite of our stress hormones, allowing us to feel relaxed, safe, trusting and generous. Studies show that people with high amounts of oxytocin experience less loneliness and physical pain. They were also shown to be better communicators, and to feel more connected to their work and the people around them.

We can learn from the yogic philosophy of love. We don’t necessarily need an external event, or lover, to catalyze our own waterfall of juicy oxytocin and emotional fulfillment. We can use some simple yogic practices to fall in love from within. And the best part? When we fall in love from within, we may actually attract more love from the outside—teddy-bear-shaped hearts and all.

Four Tips on Getting More Yogi Love

1. The power of loving what already is. Take pause to appreciate what surrounds you in the moment. Gain pleasure from what already is, without grasping for what could be. Ask yourself, “What is it about this moment (or this room, person, place) that is absolutely worthy of my love and appreciation?” Feel that love fill you up as you express contentment with exactly what you already have.

2. The power of loving touch. Yoga teaches us how to soften ourselves enough to be touched by life. On a physical level, any kind of appropriate touching has been shown to increase oxytocin and reduce stress hormones in the body. Whether it be a gentle massage, a warm hug, or the intimate touch of a lover, fill your life up with opportunities for skin-rubbing sweetness. If you live with love ones, try giving more touch. If you live alone, surround yourself with friends who don’t mind doling out the tender embraces.

3. The power of loving selflessly. My teacher, Rod Stryker, encourages us to meditate on “love without ownership.” This is a beautiful practice for cultivating non-attachment around the people and things we already have in our lives. The yogis knew that we could love better, and more authentically, when we loved people without trying to own or change them. Practice daily acts of selfless love with no expectation for returns on investment. My fellow yogini, Rachel Meyer, used to make a love-filled cake every Saturday and give it to someone who may have had a hard week. Do you knowanyone who may need an unexpected and heartfelt treat?

4. The power of loving remembrance. There is a powerful Tantric practice for increasing the feeling of love in your life. Begin by allowing yourself to close your eyes and settle into your breath. As you become more and more relaxed, allow yourself to remember a time in your life when you felt very deeply and utterly “in love.” It may have been through the experience of a lover’s embrace, receiving a drawing from your child, or a sunset in your backyard that called your heart to open. Remember this, and feel the remembrance of the love in the body. Then, leave the memory behind and pay close attention to the feeling sensations of the “being in” love. Watch how it grows and expands on its own as you experience the delight of objectless love.

~Katie

This article was originally published in the Yoga Journal Blog on February 10, 2012.

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