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Lifestyle, Spirit

Why Other People’s Baby, Engagement Ring, Kick-Ass Job, and Even Deepak Chopra Have Nothing to Do With You

The other day I posted a heart-felt sentiment on Facebook. I think, in the history of my Face-Life, I have never gotten so many “likes.” My friend and student, Martine, encouraged me to write it up as a longer blog post.

The comment:

 

I think it spoke to what many of us feel whilst scanning the Facebook “I’m super happy, tan, at-the-beach, cuddling-with-my-puppy/baby/ferret, engaged, pregnant, skinny, surrounded-by-beautiful-women, look-at-my-food-porn” created reality of our “friends.”

 

And trust me – I’m not immune to this reality manipulation as well. Id MUCH rather show all my friends/fans/students/family the “somtimes-moments” of me dancing Natarajasana on a mountain in my spandex-encased, J-lo-esque bootie than the other “sometimes-moments” of my life where I have eaten too much, am laying on the floor, bloated and crying, my mother praying over me for Jesus to help her poor food-compulsed daughter to lay off the chocolate chip cookies and gouda.

 

Don’t act shocked by what I just wrote. You know you have a dark side-compulsive thing you do (drink wine out of a water bottle at your kids playground? watch porn instead of being truly intimate with your wife? go to Cross-fit like a maniac? stay at the office to avoid your media-juiced kids?). But you aren’t posting that shit to the web. Of course not.

 

But I digress. So, let’s go back to the back story that inspired me to really NEVER believe the hype that says that someone else’s happiness reduces my own. 

 

I learned that amazing truth from a teacher years back. This great teacher told us a story about how long, long ago, he felt jealous of someone who is now a very famous author and spiritual teacher (ok, lets just say it was Deepak Chopra). Every time he heard Deepak’s name it would feel like a thorn in his side. And you may remember that there was a time when Deepak was everywhere (especially everywhere in Los Angeles).

 

But being a good Tantric practitioner, instead of silently rebuking good ole’ Deepak, my teacher began to ask the question we should all ask when we feel the pangs of jealousy. “What is it about this person that is reflecting some unfulfilled longing in ME?” He realized that he himself wanted to be showing up in the world more, reaching more people, writing books, and fulfilling his own deepest purpose. As soon as he began to realize these things internally and tangibly, the silent Deepak-hating completely went away. Completely. Now, did Deepak change? Nope, not one bit. In fact, Deepak continues to become more famous and successful and tan and kind of wonderfully weird. And good for him.

 

You see, there is zero relationship between what other people are attaining and what you are NOT attaining. We live a lie whereby we feel we must compete for the good stuff. There is only so much money. So many resources. So much love. So many yoga students. So many opportunities.

 

But the truth of the matter is (and this is what Tantra teaches), your INTERNAL state dictates your happiness. If you are annoyed by someone’s success (or anything about someone else really), you gotta look it in the face and say, “Hello Guru, what can you teach me?”

 

I have been committed to the path of “there is no competition” for years. The commitment to using the “pangs” of negative emotion (jealousy, anger, fear, sadness) as teachers has been the toughest and most fruitful journey of my life. But slowly, I can see the way this path begets FREEDOM. I am the creator of my own happiness. And when I see YOUR insanely-edible baby, your amazing new hairstyle, your crazy-bendy yoga body, your food-porn, your hunky, flannel-wearing, lumber-jack-bearded-husband, your amazing way with words, your crazy-gorgeous engagement ring, your new book, you covered in snakes with zero-cellulite in your tight white yoga pants, your sky-diving abilities, your commitment to changing the world, your Cross-fit body, or any other attainment on your horizon, I am overcome with joy. Just joy. Anything else is just fuel for my own burning.

 

Pass it on.

~Katie

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I’m fifteen, clutching a cherry Slurpee from 7-E I’m fifteen, clutching a cherry Slurpee from 7-Eleven. My hands frozen, but my stomach warm with the butterflies of anticipation. The sun is setting behind the Baptist church across the street, and I’m having my first kiss.

I’ll spare you the full awkward glory of it. Just know: it was thrilling only because it was my first kiss…but it was a little icky. The moment felt more like a nervous science experiment than a cinematic love scene.

And yet for years, I had fantasized about this kiss. I’d built altars to it in my Lisa Frank rainbow notebooks, baptized it in hot pink dolphin dreams. I prayed to the feeling of it—of being wanted, of being chosen, of being seen.

That imagined kiss? It was electric, perfect, Divine.

The real one? A little wet and weird. But also sacred in its own way.

Here’s what I know now: Desire isn’t the problem. It’s the path.

Our work is not to shut down desire, but to refine it.

To redirect it - not toward perfection or external validation - but toward our innermost self. 

Toward the Source.

Toward what is most true.

C.S. Lewis said it best about our desires (what a shocker): “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

It was always about your heart.

And it’s unstoppable, holy ache to remember who you truly are.

That ache? That’s the curriculum of our school.

Shakti Ayurveda School is a soul community. A real-talk, no-BS, deeply feminine journey into healing, desire, laughter and transformation.

Our Summer of Love sale is ending in just one week (lowest price + tons of free gifts when you join Ayurveda School).

Ready to go deeper?

→ Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL (one word) to sign-up + claim your bonuses. Just use code ‘summeroflove’ at checkout.

→ Comment MORE INFO to book a free connect call with our team.

→ Comment WISDOM to get instant access to our free Divine Feminine Ayurveda mini-course.
Let’s be real, sometimes we wait for a sign.⁠ Let’s be real, sometimes we wait for a sign.⁠
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Okay, I think we can all laugh at how TRUE this me Okay, I think we can all laugh at how TRUE this meme by @natashalevinger is. 🤣💃🏽 

Sometimes it really feels like while we’re over here having endless emotional processing sessions with our therapist, our parents are enjoying nonstop vacations and home remodelings. 😜  

But here’s a deeper reflection for us all – part of healing is realizing that our parents, siblings, friends (and yes, every human on the planet) also has their wounds. We are all just doing the best we can with what we’ve come into this life with.

The good news about uncovering our wounds is this: When we work with our wounds and are willing to hold space for our inner child, we free up an immense reservoir of untapped energy. 

The things that hold the most pain in our lives have the potential to show us our life’s purpose and help us find the deepest meaning.

Meme by @natashalevinger
What your first kiss says about your spiritual pat What your first kiss says about your spiritual path + do not miss my free course on Ayurveda for summer! FREE SUMMER STUDY PARTY!!!! Recipes, tips, tricks and summer deep meditation party!!! Comment “LUSCIOUS” for the replay. 🌹🌺🍓🐶🌺🙏❤️🌹🌙
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