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Lifestyle, Spirit

Why Other People’s Baby, Engagement Ring, Kick-Ass Job, and Even Deepak Chopra Have Nothing to Do With You

The other day I posted a heart-felt sentiment on Facebook. I think, in the history of my Face-Life, I have never gotten so many “likes.” My friend and student, Martine, encouraged me to write it up as a longer blog post.

The comment:

 

I think it spoke to what many of us feel whilst scanning the Facebook “I’m super happy, tan, at-the-beach, cuddling-with-my-puppy/baby/ferret, engaged, pregnant, skinny, surrounded-by-beautiful-women, look-at-my-food-porn” created reality of our “friends.”

 

And trust me – I’m not immune to this reality manipulation as well. Id MUCH rather show all my friends/fans/students/family the “somtimes-moments” of me dancing Natarajasana on a mountain in my spandex-encased, J-lo-esque bootie than the other “sometimes-moments” of my life where I have eaten too much, am laying on the floor, bloated and crying, my mother praying over me for Jesus to help her poor food-compulsed daughter to lay off the chocolate chip cookies and gouda.

 

Don’t act shocked by what I just wrote. You know you have a dark side-compulsive thing you do (drink wine out of a water bottle at your kids playground? watch porn instead of being truly intimate with your wife? go to Cross-fit like a maniac? stay at the office to avoid your media-juiced kids?). But you aren’t posting that shit to the web. Of course not.

 

But I digress. So, let’s go back to the back story that inspired me to really NEVER believe the hype that says that someone else’s happiness reduces my own. 

 

I learned that amazing truth from a teacher years back. This great teacher told us a story about how long, long ago, he felt jealous of someone who is now a very famous author and spiritual teacher (ok, lets just say it was Deepak Chopra). Every time he heard Deepak’s name it would feel like a thorn in his side. And you may remember that there was a time when Deepak was everywhere (especially everywhere in Los Angeles).

 

But being a good Tantric practitioner, instead of silently rebuking good ole’ Deepak, my teacher began to ask the question we should all ask when we feel the pangs of jealousy. “What is it about this person that is reflecting some unfulfilled longing in ME?” He realized that he himself wanted to be showing up in the world more, reaching more people, writing books, and fulfilling his own deepest purpose. As soon as he began to realize these things internally and tangibly, the silent Deepak-hating completely went away. Completely. Now, did Deepak change? Nope, not one bit. In fact, Deepak continues to become more famous and successful and tan and kind of wonderfully weird. And good for him.

 

You see, there is zero relationship between what other people are attaining and what you are NOT attaining. We live a lie whereby we feel we must compete for the good stuff. There is only so much money. So many resources. So much love. So many yoga students. So many opportunities.

 

But the truth of the matter is (and this is what Tantra teaches), your INTERNAL state dictates your happiness. If you are annoyed by someone’s success (or anything about someone else really), you gotta look it in the face and say, “Hello Guru, what can you teach me?”

 

I have been committed to the path of “there is no competition” for years. The commitment to using the “pangs” of negative emotion (jealousy, anger, fear, sadness) as teachers has been the toughest and most fruitful journey of my life. But slowly, I can see the way this path begets FREEDOM. I am the creator of my own happiness. And when I see YOUR insanely-edible baby, your amazing new hairstyle, your crazy-bendy yoga body, your food-porn, your hunky, flannel-wearing, lumber-jack-bearded-husband, your amazing way with words, your crazy-gorgeous engagement ring, your new book, you covered in snakes with zero-cellulite in your tight white yoga pants, your sky-diving abilities, your commitment to changing the world, your Cross-fit body, or any other attainment on your horizon, I am overcome with joy. Just joy. Anything else is just fuel for my own burning.

 

Pass it on.

~Katie

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Feminine-form Ayurveda invites us to remember that Feminine-form Ayurveda invites us to remember that Ayurveda is a mytho-poetic system for awakening, for transformation and for living as a soul in a body.

Here are three ways to understand this feminine, embodied approach to Ayurveda:

1. Your body is a temple of Shakti.

Ayurveda in its deepest roots teaches that the body is a vessel of light, a sacred temple where spirit lives. When we tend to our digestion, our energy, our emotions, we aren’t just “getting healthy” - we are literally infusing our tissues with radiance so that our very flesh can become a living poem, an expression of our soul’s essence.

2. You are made of the Five Elements.

Earth, water, fire, air and space aren’t abstract concepts - they are living principles moving through you right now. Your feeling of stability, the flow of your emotions, your capacity to transform your old patterns and your feeling of inspiration in your life all reflect these elemental forces. Feminine-form Ayurveda teaches us how to work with the Five Elements through our physical health, as well as on the subtle, energetic level.

3. Healing begins with presence.

Feminine-form Ayurveda is a map for learning to meet life—and ourselves—as we are. Instead of asking “what should I eat today?” we tune into “what is alive in me right now, and how can I meet it with compassion?” In our school we orient to the practice of Ayurveda from what we call “the healing climate,” a field where your body and soul can soften to remember your innate wisdom.

🌹 Is this speaking to your soul? Comment “190” below and we’ll send you the link to the full episode where I dive deeper into these core threads that weave together to create feminine-form Ayurveda.
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Even small shifts like these can help stoke your a Even small shifts like these can help stoke your agni, boost your metabolism and strengthen your digestion.

🥬 Avoid processed food + leftovers. Food carries prana—the living energy that fuels body, mind and spirit. The longer food sits or the more processed it is, the less prana it has to offer you.

→ Instead: Cook simple, fresh meals when you can and eat warm foods to nourish your inner fire.

🌙 Avoid eating dinner after 6pm or sundown. Your digestion moves with the sun. Eating late overloads the body, leaving you heavy and foggy the next day.

→ Instead: Opt for an earlier, lighter dinner. Soups, kitchari or steamed veggies with a touch of healthy fat are perfect.

🍠 Focus on full meals instead of constant grazing. Every time you snack, your digestive fire is interrupted and never fully resets. Over time, this weakens agni—your body’s power to transform food into energy and vitality.

→ Instead: Root yourself in 3 nourishing meals a day so your system can digest fully and then truly rest.

🍽️ Eat only until three-quarters full. Stuffing yourself extinguishes your flame. Leaving space keeps you light, clear and energized.

→ Instead: Pause mid-meal, tune in and stop before heaviness sets in.

💦 Don’t drink ice water with meals. This is a big one. Cold and excess liquid dampen your digestive fire - it’s like pouring water on a sacred flame.

→ Instead: Sip warm water or herbal tea if you’re thirsty with meals, and drink larger amounts between meals.

When we honor the sacred fire that not only digests only our food, but also transforms our emotions and life experiences, we unlock more sustained energy, more fuel and more soul-power.

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The week before your period can also mean ICKY SYM The week before your period can also mean ICKY SYMPTOMS like bloating, headaches, fatigue, sore boobies & breakouts. Ayurveda teaches that this is often linked to imbalances in hormones (hello estrogen dominance?), ama buildup (that’s toxins), nutrient depletion and stress overload. That’s why food—and herbs—are your best allies in this phase.⁠
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In Ayurveda, Agni is more than your digestion. Ag In Ayurveda, Agni is more than your digestion.

Agni is the sacred fire that transforms what you take in from the outside world into vitality, clarity and wisdom.

When your Agni is strong, you don’t just break down food with ease - you metabolize emotions, challenges and life changes. You have the power to burn through confusion, soften your defenses and transform what’s stuck or hard into insight and freedom.

Old hurts lose their grip.
Confusion burns away, revealing truth.
The “stuck places” in your body and psyche soften, making space for more.

Agni is not just a physiological process…it’s foundational to our psychological and spiritual vitality.

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