sexual health

Ep. 95 Pleasure Pathways + Erotic Embodiment with Chris Muse

In this episode I talk with Somatic Sex Educator and Shakti School teacher Chris Muse. Chris is devoted to helping people quiet their voices of doubt and get comfortable taking the leap into knowing and trusting themselves more fully. Join us in this juicy conversation about pleasure, its connection to the nervous system and how to achieve erotic embodiment.

In this episode you’ll hear:

~ The importance of knowing our anatomy as a way to navigate arousal

~ Cultural conditioning and how it relates the nervous system + pleasure

~ “Junk food pleasure” versus “nutrient dense pleasure” as it relates to the nervous system

~ How technology and social media is affecting our pleasure pathways

~ The necessity of safety for erotic embodiment

~ Slowing down as a way to maximize pleasure

~ How to cultivate what is already well within us

Find Chris online at:

~ https://www.chris-muse.com/

~ https://www.theverdantcollective.com/

~ https://www.instituteforeroticintelligence.com/

Or Subscribe on iTunes

Sponsored: This episode is brought to you by Ahara Ghee. Visit them online at iloveghee.com. Use promocode GHEESPOT at checkout for $5 off your order.

Learn more:

Book a call with Amaury about Ayurveda School

Shakti Ayurveda School

Free Divine Feminine Ayurveda Mini-Course

LOVEFIT: The Shakti School Subscription

HELP US SPREAD OUR POD WINGS

This show is a passion project that I produce for the love of sharing. If you enjoy this show and want a free and easy way to help it grow, the most effective way you can help is to:

Subscribe to the show by clicking “subscribe” in iTunes
Write us a review in iTunes
Share this show with one friend right now!

It’s seems simple, but you’d be AMAZED to know how much it helps my little love project reach more people. iTunes’ algorithm uses ratings and reviews to know who to show our show to in their app.

Here’s the link to leave us reviews in iTunes.

From my heart to your screen,

Katie

Ep. 84 Your Boobies Are Magic

A sneak peek into our Ayurveda training! Discover your breasts from the Ayurvedic and Tantric perspectives.

In this episode you’ll hear:

~Reviving and adapting Ayurveda

~Breast health as womb health

~Our womb-breast axis as lineage holder

~Culture and health outcomes

~Breast care is the ultimate woman care

Or Subscribe on iTunes

Learn more:

Book a call with Amaury about Ayurveda School

Shakti Ayurveda School

Free Divine Feminine Ayurveda Mini-Course

LOVEFIT: The Shakti School Subscription

HELP US SPREAD OUR POD WINGS

This show is a passion project that I produce for the love of sharing. If you enjoy this show and want a free and easy way to help it grow, the most effective way you can help is to:

Subscribe to the show by clicking “subscribe” in iTunes
Write us a review in iTunes
Share this show with one friend right now!

Here’s the link to leave us reviews in iTunes.

From my heart to your screen,

Katie

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The pelvic floor was designed not to be a muscle you train, but rather a muscle that moves fluidly in connection with the muscles in your lower limbs and trunk of your body. The combination of these muscles working together in a feminine flow is what results in a healthy pelvic floor. Contrary to popular belief, repetitively engaging in kegel exercises (exercises that train the pelvis to contract) is not a balanced approach for strengthening the pelvic bowl, unless you are using them for postpartum recovery or targeting a certain injury or imbalance. Don’t get me wrong, kegel exercises do have their place in women’s health. Kegels and other tightening exercises (like using a jade egg: See p. 198 of Happy, Healthy, Sexy) can be extremely beneficial to mother’s after giving birth or any woman working to retrain, retone, and re-tighten the vaginal walls. Outside of that, when we exclusively focus on contracting the pelvic floor we become vulnerable to many health imbalances including chronic stress, bloating, hormonal issues, and possibly pelvic floor disorder. When our pelvic floor muscles are too tight it can dull our sensitivity to arousal and sexual pleasure. For a flower to open, it must surrender it’s petals. It all comes back to balance.

Did you know that there is a direct line of fascia linking your jaw to your pelvis?

The connection and bio-mechanical relationship that your jaw and pelvis have is particularly helpful for women to understand. It's especially relevant for women with pelvic floor pain. A study in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics from Hanover Medical School in Germany revealed that TMJ (aka temporo-mandibular joint dysfunction) plays an important role in hip mobility restriction experienced by patients with pain. This indicated a connectedness between these two intrinsic parts of the body.

If you've been stuck in a pattern of clenching the pelvis it may be difficult to even know where to begin when it comes to relaxing those muscles. Going to the jawline can be a more accessible place to start and will seem to magically open the pelvic bowl. Ina May Gaskin, a female healer and wise leader in midwifery, even coined the term “the sphincter law” to explain that if the jaw and throat are relaxed then the buttocks and pelvis will be too. She says, “The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.” (Gaskin, 2003, p. 170) On the flip side, if you are clenching your jaw often, you’re probably also clenching your pelvis.

How do I know if my pelvis is contracted?

If you exercise frequently, do yoga, stress easily, or wear heels above 1/8th of an inch, your pelvis is probably contracted. In the modern day yoga and fitness world many women are cued to “contract the navel, lift your belly in and up, draw your navel in and pull your tailbone down,” and while these cues may have there place for certain exercises, if you aren’t spending adequate time intentionally doing the opposite and relaxing you are cuing your body to stay in a hyperarousal state. When we wear heels it causes an anterior pelvic tilt.

These incredible bodies we live in were made to keep each body part in balance with the other. If one body part becomes fixed, the whole system has to compensate. This can lead to a chain reaction of imbalance causing our abdominal organs to be squashed and our belly to bloat.

Many of us have lost our sensitivity to even feel this hyper-flexed state because we've become somewhat disconnected from our bodies. By engaging in more fluid, less structured movement, and through time spent softening, surrendering, and relaxing the pelvic floor those muscles will actually become stronger! Just like the rest of the body, when you overtax a certain muscle, you need adequate rest and recovery time in order for that muscle to actually grow and remain healthy.

How can we maintain an overall healthy pelvic floor?

Diversify your movements! Don’t just focus on one exercise. Doing kegels is similar to doing a bicep curl for your pelvis. You’re only going to strengthen one muscle. Try engaging in a wide range of fluid motions. Movements involving squatting, lunging, and lengthening of the limbs will help tone the pelvis while also help to strengthen the extremities which will create ease on the pelvis while also gaining strength and longevity.

Exercises to tone, relax, & strengthen the pelvis:

Breathing practices with elongated exhales
Long walks in shoes without heels
Take pause throughout the day to relax the jaw
Lay down with some massage balls!
Get or give yourself a face massage
Chakravakasana (cat cow) with lion’s breath to loosen the hips and the jaw
Anytime you are doing tightening or strengthening exercises make sure to take adequate recovery time and focus on relaxing the jaw & the pelvic bowl
Our Foam roller and pelvic release classes in the Shakti School Membership Community:

How will having a more relaxed & toned pelvis lead to experiencing more pleasure?

When the pelvic floor muscles are chronically tensed the muscles will eventually become less flexible. When the muscles are unable to move and stretch, sensations will become weakened and the ability to engage with that area emotionally will also become more difficult.

In Happy Healthy Sexy: Ayurveda Wisdom for Modern Women, I wrote: “Pleasure-power has everything to do with cultivating our ability to feel and experience pleasure in daily life-- in and out of the bedroom. It’s about getting quiet and content enough to experience the immense beauty that is always present when our senses are tuned in.” Similarly, when we educate ourselves on the pelvic floor it is essential for us to focus on being in continuous engagement with our bodies. The key element to building strength, fluidity, and our ability to experience pleasure is to return to movements that are less rigid, more balanced, and more fluid. It is there where we will find more ease with the body, mind, and spirit.

Our Favorite Products for Pelvic Floor Health

Foria Awaken Arousel Fluid and Personal Lubricant

We LOVE this product. It's main ingredients are Hemp (a source of CBD!) and Kava. It helps relax the pelvic floor and increase blood circulation to nourish your tissues and increase your capacity for pleasure. Get 10% off your order with the promocode SHAKTILOVE.

Jade Eggs Set

Banyan’s Coconut Brahmi Oil

Use promocode SHAKTI10 for 10% off your order with Banyan.

Foods that are good for your connective tissue:

Bone Broth
Ghee
Collagen
Tocos (Plant collagen-like supplement) Receive 15% with code SHAKTISUN
Magnesium
Spring Water
Chia Seeds
Golden Milk
Women's Blend Tea

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19539119

https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/kegel-queen/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4573594/

https://www.alignpt.com/mysterious-connection-pelvis-jaw/

https://www.christinemathesonnd.com/blog/pelvic-health-jaw-tension-connection

Meditation for Building and Healing Sexual Energy

You can do this meditation sitting down, but I find it helpful to lie down with some support under my spine, such as a folded blanket or a bolster. Try working with this practice for at least 40 days, for 15-45 minutes daily.

Close your eyes and let your body relax and settle into its connection to the earth. Feel that you are in a nurturing, soothing place, and that you are fully safe to relax and let go. Notice, for a few minutes, the simple miracle of the breath. The inhale raises the navel center away from you, without you trying, and lowers the belly back onto you as you breathe out. Again, try not to try. Simply watch the belly as you become more and more relaxed.

Now, begin to smooth and even out the inhale and exhale. Take a few minutes to get the inhale and exhale as smooth and even as possible. The more relaxed you become, the subtler the breath becomes. Now, begin to remember love. Remember a time when you felt totally in love, totally safe, and totally nurtured. Take a few minutes to be in this memory of sweet love.

Slowly begin to become aware of where you feel love in your body. What is it like? Is it open or closed? Is it warm or cold? Expanded or contracted? Why does it feel good? Begin to let this love spread to your entire being. Rest for a moment in the love. Anytime you feel yourself coming into self-judgment, come back to the remembrance of love. Tell yourself, “My darling, you are seen; you are loved.” Talk to you inner being like a little girl. Tell her everything is going to be okay. (We do this “little girl” talk because many of our holding patterns are stored from child and girlhood.)

Begin to bring your attention into the space around your tailbone area, all the way around to your pubis and up to the space just below the navel. Blow your awareness up like a balloon at

this area. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your pelvic floor. Breathe out. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your lower back. Breathe out. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your right hipbone. Breathe out. Breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your left hipbone. Breathe out. Now, breathe in and feel your inhale inhabit your entire pelvic bowl (sense this pelvic area that sits low and deep under your belly), the sacred sacrum, the holy place. Take a few minutes to let your awareness swirl around as love and energy in your sacred bowl. Search out any areas that may feel blocked.

When you find these spots, you can see them as blockages sitting on the vast creative capacity you hold in this area of the body, the seat of all rejuvenation and creation. It also sits on the sweet pleasure that your pelvic bowl holds for you. Let your awareness stay in these spots, and keep breathing love, allowing your attention and focus to penetrate the dark corners of your feminine heart. Remember, energy follows focus. The more you can soften into love and send your focus to the stickiness, the greater the chance that the blockage can dissolve and resolve itself. Keep moving your awareness through the visualization and allowing the energy to open and disperse any blocks in your womb.

Finally, there may come a moment when the womb area is just so full of light and openness that you can abandon the technique and simply enjoy breathing into the new space you have created there. Now would be a good time to begin to chant a mantra into the energetic womb connection you have created. The mantra som (pronounced sohm) is an excellent healing tonic for this area.

To come out of the meditation, simply deepen your breath, offering gratitude for the practice. Slowly begin to move your body and come back.

~Katie

*This is drawn from the Sexy section of Healthy, Happy, Sexy. For more healthy, happy goodness to keep on your kitchen counter and nightstand, you can order your own copy here.

Ojas: The Power That Sustains Us

Ojas (OH-JUS) is one of the three subtle forces in our body. Think of ojas as the container that holds your abundant energy. It is the ultimate energy reserve of the body and mind. It is the purest essence of Kapha, and physically, it is related to reproductive, hormonal, and cerebrospinal fluids.

I love the metaphor of ojas as the body’s natural honey: it is the delicate and refined essence we produce from the plants and other vital essences we take in. Ojas is the force that enables us to sustain that change over time. Think of it as your psychophysical container or shield.

As a society, we don’t respect this energy enough. The more ojas we have, the more impervious we are to illness and the negativity of others. Robust ojas acts as a soft shielding, helping us ward off stress and disease brought on by physical pathogens as well as psychic pathogens (emotional vampires be gone!). The more ojas we have, the more impervious we are to the negativity of others, as our own spirit has a good, strong container. Ojas gives us an overall sense of satisfaction with life. As you might suspect, our modern Western culture is chronically low in ojas.

A person with good ojas is calm and content, and has both strong immunity and endurance. This is the most important element for most of us to cultivate. It is especially true if we are trying to conceive a child, deal with a stressful life event, or overcome an illness.

But increasing our level of ojas is not just a matter of building it up. It is also about not losing or wasting it.

When you are overstimulated, for example, if you spend hours on the Internet, drinking coffee, and texting friends, you lose energy through the five senses in ways you aren’t even aware of. This leaves us feeling depleted and can brings on depressive or anxious sensations.

The practice of pratyahara, that is, controlling our senses by moderating our speech and sexual energy and getting proper rest, relaxation and sleep, helps us preserve our vital energy. The next time you feel depleted, think of drawing the mind inward instead of reaching outward for comfort. I like to lie down and practice feeling the sensations in my body, turning my focus inward and letting any stagnant emotions rise to the surface.

START NOW: Feel A Connection to Your Ojas

This exercise will help you feel the strength of your energy reserve.

Find a comfortable position and close your eyes.

Take a few deep breaths. Relax for a minute, allowing your breath to deepen and smooth out.

Now slowly start to draw your attention away from your thoughts, emotions or aches, and drop it down into your belly, holding it there until you feel sensation. Then, slowly, bring your awareness into your heart.

Remember a moment in your life when you felt very deep love. Perhaps it was the birth of your child, a merging into the arms of your lover, being hugged by a parent, or the bliss you experience when you help someone in need. Maybe it was a time when you let yourself be totally vulnerable. When you add love to your point of focus, it builds your ojas.

Bring that moment fully to mind and notice where you feel the sensation of love in your body. Allow this sensation to move, to expand and permeate every cell of your being. When you grow the feeling of love inside your body, you boost the power that enables you to remain strong and wise in the face of heartache, disease and change.

Relax into this loving container, watching how, over and over again, you will gain and lose the feeling, and how you can refocus and experience your inherent enduring, sustaining power."