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Sex

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The pelvic floor was designed not to be a muscle you train, but rather a muscle that moves fluidly in connection with the muscles in your lower limbs and trunk of your body. The combination of these muscles working together in a feminine flow is what results in a healthy pelvic floor. Contrary to popular belief, repetitively engaging in kegel exercises (exercises that train the pelvis to contract) is not a balanced approach for strengthening the pelvic bowl, unless you are using them for postpartum recovery or targeting a certain injury or imbalance. Don’t get me wrong, kegel exercises do have their place in women’s health. Kegels and other tightening exercises (like using a jade egg: See p. 198 of Happy, Healthy, Sexy) can be extremely beneficial to mother’s after giving birth or any woman working to retrain, retone, and re-tighten the vaginal walls. Outside of that, when we exclusively focus on contracting the pelvic floor we become vulnerable to many health imbalances including chronic stress, bloating, hormonal issues, and possibly pelvic floor disorder. When our pelvic floor muscles are too tight it can dull our sensitivity to arousal and sexual pleasure. For a flower to open, it must surrender it’s petals. It all comes back to balance.

Did you know that there is a direct line of fascia linking your jaw to your pelvis?

The connection and bio-mechanical relationship that your jaw and pelvis have is particularly helpful for women to understand. It's especially relevant for women with pelvic floor pain. A study in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics from Hanover Medical School in Germany revealed that TMJ (aka temporo-mandibular joint dysfunction) plays an important role in hip mobility restriction experienced by patients with pain. This indicated a connectedness between these two intrinsic parts of the body.

If you've been stuck in a pattern of clenching the pelvis it may be difficult to even know where to begin when it comes to relaxing those muscles. Going to the jawline can be a more accessible place to start and will seem to magically open the pelvic bowl. Ina May Gaskin, a female healer and wise leader in midwifery, even coined the term “the sphincter law” to explain that if the jaw and throat are relaxed then the buttocks and pelvis will be too. She says, “The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.” (Gaskin, 2003, p. 170) On the flip side, if you are clenching your jaw often, you’re probably also clenching your pelvis.

How do I know if my pelvis is contracted?

If you exercise frequently, do yoga, stress easily, or wear heels above 1/8th of an inch, your pelvis is probably contracted. In the modern day yoga and fitness world many women are cued to “contract the navel, lift your belly in and up, draw your navel in and pull your tailbone down,” and while these cues may have there place for certain exercises, if you aren’t spending adequate time intentionally doing the opposite and relaxing you are cuing your body to stay in a hyperarousal state. When we wear heels it causes an anterior pelvic tilt.

These incredible bodies we live in were made to keep each body part in balance with the other. If one body part becomes fixed, the whole system has to compensate. This can lead to a chain reaction of imbalance causing our abdominal organs to be squashed and our belly to bloat.

Many of us have lost our sensitivity to even feel this hyper-flexed state because we've become somewhat disconnected from our bodies. By engaging in more fluid, less structured movement, and through time spent softening, surrendering, and relaxing the pelvic floor those muscles will actually become stronger! Just like the rest of the body, when you overtax a certain muscle, you need adequate rest and recovery time in order for that muscle to actually grow and remain healthy.

How can we maintain an overall healthy pelvic floor?

Diversify your movements! Don’t just focus on one exercise. Doing kegels is similar to doing a bicep curl for your pelvis. You’re only going to strengthen one muscle. Try engaging in a wide range of fluid motions. Movements involving squatting, lunging, and lengthening of the limbs will help tone the pelvis while also help to strengthen the extremities which will create ease on the pelvis while also gaining strength and longevity.

Exercises to tone, relax, & strengthen the pelvis:

  • Breathing practices with elongated exhales
  • Long walks in shoes without heels
  • Take pause throughout the day to relax the jaw
  • Lay down with some massage balls!
  • Get or give yourself a face massage
  • Chakravakasana (cat cow) with lion’s breath to loosen the hips and the jaw
  • Anytime you are doing tightening or strengthening exercises make sure to take adequate recovery time and focus on relaxing the jaw & the pelvic bowl
  • Our Foam roller and pelvic release classes in the Shakti School Membership Community:
Pelvic Power Bowl
March2019
May2019

Login here to view these classes or sign up for one month free using the discount code FREETRIAL at checkout.

How will having a more relaxed & toned pelvis lead to experiencing more pleasure?

When the pelvic floor muscles are chronically tensed the muscles will eventually become less flexible. When the muscles are unable to move and stretch, sensations will become weakened and the ability to engage with that area emotionally will also become more difficult.

In Happy Healthy Sexy: Ayurveda Wisdom for Modern Women, I wrote: “Pleasure-power has everything to do with cultivating our ability to feel and experience pleasure in daily life-- in and out of the bedroom. It’s about getting quiet and content enough to experience the immense beauty that is always present when our senses are tuned in.” Similarly, when we educate ourselves on the pelvic floor it is essential for us to focus on being in continuous engagement with our bodies. The key element to building strength, fluidity, and our ability to experience pleasure is to return to movements that are less rigid, more balanced, and more fluid. It is there where we will find more ease with the body, mind, and spirit.

Our Favorite Products for Pelvic Floor Health

Foria Awaken Arousel Fluid and Personal Lubricant

We LOVE this product. It's main ingredients are Hemp (a source of CBD!) and Kava. It helps relax the pelvic floor and increase blood circulation to nourish your tissues and increase your capacity for pleasure. Get 10% off your order with the promocode SHAKTILOVE.

Jade Eggs Set

Banyan’s Coconut Brahmi Oil

Use promocode SHAKTI10 for 10% off your order with Banyan.

Foods that are good for your connective tissue:

  • Bone Broth
  • Ghee
  • Collagen
  • Tocos (Plant collagen-like supplement) Receive 15% with code SHAKTISUN
  • Magnesium
  • Spring Water
  • Chia Seeds
  • Golden Milk
  • Women's Blend Tea

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19539119

https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/kegel-queen/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4573594/

https://www.alignpt.com/mysterious-connection-pelvis-jaw/

https://www.christinemathesonnd.com/blog/pelvic-health-jaw-tension-connection

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TheShaktiSchool

The doors are officially open! Earlybird registrat The doors are officially open! Earlybird registration for our 2027 Ayurvedic Wellness Coach Certification program is here!🚪🎉🙏🏽⁠
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For those of you who have been waiting for this year and are ready to dive right in - I wanna’ give you all the books and the textbooks you need. I know a few of you were on the fence for 2026 and are definitely IN for 2027 - so this is an opportunity to get all your texts totally free as a gift.
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Our year-long training is more than a training in Ayurveda. It’s a spiritual initiation into the wisdom of your body and a comprehensive education in cutting-edge Ayurvedic science.⁠
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That means that whether you… ⁠
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🌹 Feel a calling to become the go-to spirit woman in your community and support others (this program will initiate you into that)⁠
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🌹 Want to uplevel your knowledge in women’s health and Ayurveda (you will become a feminine-form Ayurveda expert through this training if you sincerely do the work)⁠
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🌹 Know absolutely nothing about Ayurveda yet you know in your bones that this program is the next step in the evolution of your soul (yep, we have TONS of women in this course who joined for this reason who can barely pronounce Ah-Yur-Vay-Duh 😂)... ⁠
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…we are throwing our arms wide open and welcoming you into this deep inner and outer fellowship. ⁠
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THE BEST PART? We’re giving you all the books you’ll need for class (that’s $200 value) as a special bonus gift when you register before June 5th. 📚⁠
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The first women to register for Ayurveda School 2027 before 6/5 will receive both of my books, Healthy, Happy, Sexy and Glow-Worthy, along with the course textbook, Fundamentals of Ayurveda AND the printed and beautifully-bound student manual.⁠
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Ready to join us in 2027 and claim your free books? Register now at the link in bio.⁠
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Are you interested in learning more about our program? Comment “AYURVEDASCHOOL” (one word) below and we’ll send you the link to book a free call with our Shakti coaching team! ☎️
Don’t know what to make for dinner this week, an Don’t know what to make for dinner this week, and you still wanna’ be in alignment with the seasonal shifts? Here are some quick, kapha-balancing ideas to add to your menu. 👇🏼

🌱 Kitchari, light on the oil. The OG Ayurvedic comfort food, but make it light! Mung dal + basmati rice + kapha-balancing spices, just go light when adding your oil.

🌱 Spiced veggie soups. You can’t go wrong with brothy soups—grab some carrots, celery, kale, fresh ginger, turmeric or cumin and add some lentils for more protein!

🌱 Steamed veggies with warming spices—a simple staple that Kapha loves. Always finish with a drizzle of lemon and pinch of cayenne or black pepper!

🌱 Quinoa + sautéed greens + lime squirt. For extra oomph, add some dry roasted sunflower or hemp seeds.

🌱 Roasted veggie medley (cauliflower, brussel sprouts, broccoli, cabbage, asparagus, turnips or green beans) with cumin, coriander and paprika. (Roasting is a good way to balance out our less kapha-friendly veggies like sweet potatoes and parsnips, too.)

🥕 Want my easy instant-pot kitchari recipe so that you can love on your agni this week? Comment INSTANT below and I’ll send it to you.
The purpose of alchemizing our pain is not perfect The purpose of alchemizing our pain is not perfection. In fact, it can be incredibly liberating to free ourselves from the idea that we will ever be perfectly healed—the idea that we will ever NOT have a certain amount of discomfort and suffering in our lives.

I remember having my heart cracked open when I learned about the Hindu goddess Akhilandeshvari, She Who Is Never Not Broken. 

She is the keeper of the realm of hearts broken, dreams unachieved, and promises unkept. She is with us when we fall into a snotty ball on our bed, unable to keep the sobs from engulfing us. 

She is the opposite of “Move on,” “Just get over it,” and “Oh, come on, it could be worse.” She allows us to be with our feelings until they naturally transform. 

She exists within us, constantly gathering the broken pieces of us back into her. 

And although she is always broken, her face is peaceful because she knows an important secret: that she is always there with us, coexisting alongside the pain. 

And She Who Is Never Not Broken is one of the biggest keys to accessing our true inner glow, in that she allows all the rusted, grimy, broken, roughed-up parts of us to be held in the warm gaze of her message: You can be here.

These double-edged goddesses teach us the beautiful and often painful lesson of the tension of the opposites. 

Can you embody these goddesses by holding the paradox of life, knowing that both brokenness and wholeness may always be operating in our lives?

🙏🏼 Meme by @healdotme
This is a milky beverage that counteracts insomnia This is a milky beverage that counteracts insomnia and nervousness before bed. 

Ayurveda provides nourishing and grounding remedies that help settle both body and mind. 🌀☁️

Warm milk is traditionally used as an ojas-building tonic that supports deep restoration, while valerian helps calm the nervous system, ashwagandha supports stress resilience, nutmeg is used for its gently sedative qualities, and saffron eases the mind toward rest. 🫖

When taken together, you have a soothing ritual that reduces excess movement in the mind and invites deep ease before bedtime. 🌙

You can also enhance the effects of this milky medicine by rubbing some warm sesame oil and a few drops of jatamansi essential oil on the soles of your feet before covering them in socks.

🌬️Ready to learn more Ayurvedic wisdom for soothing the mind, body and nervous system? Comment SOMATIC for my free class, Healing the Nervous System with Somatic Ayurveda.
In the latest episode of Spirit Sessions Podcast, In the latest episode of Spirit Sessions Podcast, I do a deep download on erythritol. You may have never heard of this chemical but it is a sweetener lurking inside so many of the “clean,” “keto,” and even “stevia” products we’ve been told are better for us. 

Think bubbly waters, protein bars and powders, energy drinks that are sold as more health-conscious, even the “healthiest” electrolytes on the market. 

You may be eating and drinking way more of this than you realize. I was! 

This podcast episode is short and sweet and offers a deep dive into both the recent science and the Ayurvedic agreement around it. 

I hope it helps us all come back to intelligent sweetness. 

Sweetly yours,
Katie 💗

🌿🎧 Comment “244” below for the link to the episode.

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