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Sex

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The pelvic floor was designed not to be a muscle you train, but rather a muscle that moves fluidly in connection with the muscles in your lower limbs and trunk of your body. The combination of these muscles working together in a feminine flow is what results in a healthy pelvic floor. Contrary to popular belief, repetitively engaging in kegel exercises (exercises that train the pelvis to contract) is not a balanced approach for strengthening the pelvic bowl, unless you are using them for postpartum recovery or targeting a certain injury or imbalance. Don’t get me wrong, kegel exercises do have their place in women’s health. Kegels and other tightening exercises (like using a jade egg: See p. 198 of Happy, Healthy, Sexy) can be extremely beneficial to mother’s after giving birth or any woman working to retrain, retone, and re-tighten the vaginal walls. Outside of that, when we exclusively focus on contracting the pelvic floor we become vulnerable to many health imbalances including chronic stress, bloating, hormonal issues, and possibly pelvic floor disorder. When our pelvic floor muscles are too tight it can dull our sensitivity to arousal and sexual pleasure. For a flower to open, it must surrender it’s petals. It all comes back to balance.

Did you know that there is a direct line of fascia linking your jaw to your pelvis?

The connection and bio-mechanical relationship that your jaw and pelvis have is particularly helpful for women to understand. It's especially relevant for women with pelvic floor pain. A study in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics from Hanover Medical School in Germany revealed that TMJ (aka temporo-mandibular joint dysfunction) plays an important role in hip mobility restriction experienced by patients with pain. This indicated a connectedness between these two intrinsic parts of the body.

If you've been stuck in a pattern of clenching the pelvis it may be difficult to even know where to begin when it comes to relaxing those muscles. Going to the jawline can be a more accessible place to start and will seem to magically open the pelvic bowl. Ina May Gaskin, a female healer and wise leader in midwifery, even coined the term “the sphincter law” to explain that if the jaw and throat are relaxed then the buttocks and pelvis will be too. She says, “The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.” (Gaskin, 2003, p. 170) On the flip side, if you are clenching your jaw often, you’re probably also clenching your pelvis.

How do I know if my pelvis is contracted?

If you exercise frequently, do yoga, stress easily, or wear heels above 1/8th of an inch, your pelvis is probably contracted. In the modern day yoga and fitness world many women are cued to “contract the navel, lift your belly in and up, draw your navel in and pull your tailbone down,” and while these cues may have there place for certain exercises, if you aren’t spending adequate time intentionally doing the opposite and relaxing you are cuing your body to stay in a hyperarousal state. When we wear heels it causes an anterior pelvic tilt.

These incredible bodies we live in were made to keep each body part in balance with the other. If one body part becomes fixed, the whole system has to compensate. This can lead to a chain reaction of imbalance causing our abdominal organs to be squashed and our belly to bloat.

Many of us have lost our sensitivity to even feel this hyper-flexed state because we've become somewhat disconnected from our bodies. By engaging in more fluid, less structured movement, and through time spent softening, surrendering, and relaxing the pelvic floor those muscles will actually become stronger! Just like the rest of the body, when you overtax a certain muscle, you need adequate rest and recovery time in order for that muscle to actually grow and remain healthy.

How can we maintain an overall healthy pelvic floor?

Diversify your movements! Don’t just focus on one exercise. Doing kegels is similar to doing a bicep curl for your pelvis. You’re only going to strengthen one muscle. Try engaging in a wide range of fluid motions. Movements involving squatting, lunging, and lengthening of the limbs will help tone the pelvis while also help to strengthen the extremities which will create ease on the pelvis while also gaining strength and longevity.

Exercises to tone, relax, & strengthen the pelvis:

  • Breathing practices with elongated exhales
  • Long walks in shoes without heels
  • Take pause throughout the day to relax the jaw
  • Lay down with some massage balls!
  • Get or give yourself a face massage
  • Chakravakasana (cat cow) with lion’s breath to loosen the hips and the jaw
  • Anytime you are doing tightening or strengthening exercises make sure to take adequate recovery time and focus on relaxing the jaw & the pelvic bowl
  • Our Foam roller and pelvic release classes in the Shakti School Membership Community:
Pelvic Power Bowl
March2019
May2019

Login here to view these classes or sign up for one month free using the discount code FREETRIAL at checkout.

How will having a more relaxed & toned pelvis lead to experiencing more pleasure?

When the pelvic floor muscles are chronically tensed the muscles will eventually become less flexible. When the muscles are unable to move and stretch, sensations will become weakened and the ability to engage with that area emotionally will also become more difficult.

In Happy Healthy Sexy: Ayurveda Wisdom for Modern Women, I wrote: “Pleasure-power has everything to do with cultivating our ability to feel and experience pleasure in daily life-- in and out of the bedroom. It’s about getting quiet and content enough to experience the immense beauty that is always present when our senses are tuned in.” Similarly, when we educate ourselves on the pelvic floor it is essential for us to focus on being in continuous engagement with our bodies. The key element to building strength, fluidity, and our ability to experience pleasure is to return to movements that are less rigid, more balanced, and more fluid. It is there where we will find more ease with the body, mind, and spirit.

Our Favorite Products for Pelvic Floor Health

Foria Awaken Arousel Fluid and Personal Lubricant

We LOVE this product. It's main ingredients are Hemp (a source of CBD!) and Kava. It helps relax the pelvic floor and increase blood circulation to nourish your tissues and increase your capacity for pleasure. Get 10% off your order with the promocode SHAKTILOVE.

Jade Eggs Set

Banyan’s Coconut Brahmi Oil

Use promocode SHAKTI10 for 10% off your order with Banyan.

Foods that are good for your connective tissue:

  • Bone Broth
  • Ghee
  • Collagen
  • Tocos (Plant collagen-like supplement) Receive 15% with code SHAKTISUN
  • Magnesium
  • Spring Water
  • Chia Seeds
  • Golden Milk
  • Women's Blend Tea

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19539119

https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/kegel-queen/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4573594/

https://www.alignpt.com/mysterious-connection-pelvis-jaw/

https://www.christinemathesonnd.com/blog/pelvic-health-jaw-tension-connection

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Remember some of the qualities of pitta: hot, ligh Remember some of the qualities of pitta: hot, light, oily, sharp, intense, and mobile. 

Because of these inherent qualities, pitta-type people will do best with forms of body movement that cultivate the opposing qualities (i.e., exercising in temperate or cool weather, and exercising in a calm and steady way). 

Working out in this manner will help relieve some of the tension, intensity, heat, and irritability associated with pitta imbalance. It will also help get rid of any excess Fire (i.e., stress and acid) in the body, most specifically in the sites where heat accumulates—small intestine, liver, blood, head, and eyes. If you exercise in a way that aggravates pitta, you will actually accumulate more Fire in those body parts. 

Any body type will benefit from using the pitta-reducing routine if they are relatively healthy and it is summer.

Pitta types can tend to be overly competitive and “burn out.” Make sure to hydrate your pitta body with water or other liquids, particularly in the summer time.

🌿 Ready to explore a softer, deeper way to approach healing and women’s health? Comment WISDOM to get our free Women’s Wisdom and Ayurveda mini-course right now.
Put all of the ingredients except the zinc into a Put all of the ingredients except the zinc into a large glass mason jar. Fill a medium saucepan with a few inches of water and place that on medium heat. Loosely fit the lid on the jar and place that in the water. ⁠
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Let all those ingredients melt together completely, shaking or stirring to get it all blended.⁠
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Once everything is melted, take it off the heat, add in the zinc, secure the lid, shake it up and stir it well. Then pour it into whatever container you plan on keeping the sunscreen in and let it cool.⁠
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This sunscreen has around 35 to 40 SPF naturally!⁠
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And one more thing - if you still love conventional sunscreen and want to keep using it, just avoid any sunscreen that has oxybenzone. Oxybenzone is found in about 40% of sunscreens and it’s been banned in Japan and parts of Europe because it’s been found to be a major endocrine disruptor related to infertility, hormone imbalance and low birth rates.⁠
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Remember the golden rule in Ayurveda: ⁠
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We don’t put anything on our skin that we would not use in our kitchen. 🥣⁠
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Enjoy your summer and take care of your skin! ✨⁠
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P.S. Beautiful person - I wanna let you know that The Shakti School doors are officially open for our next Level 1 cohort starting January 2027. This is more than a certification. It’s a living field of women who become mirrors, mentors, and soul-sisters for your unfolding, and it will absolutely change your life from the inside out. Early bird registration is officially here!⁠
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🌹 Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL to learn more about our yearlong Ayurvedic Health Coach Certification Training.⁠
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🌿 Ready for a taste of feminine-form Ayurveda right now? Comment WISDOM and we’ll send you our free Ayurveda + Women’s Wisdom mini course.
One thing about Pitta types… they usually have a One thing about Pitta types… they usually have an opinion. 🔥😉

I see pitta as a glowingly hot arrow. She is the heat of transformation. She is the energy of Fire and a little Water. You may have experienced pitta’s imbalanced side when you have had fever, loose stools, skin rash or acne, or the heated emotions of anger and frustration.

On the plane of the mind and spirit, pitta carries the gift of discernment that can cut through the smokescreen, allowing you to see a situation clearly.

You know your mental pitta is weak, for example, if you continually repeat the same life errors over and over again (I think of dating).

You will know your mental fire is getting stronger when you can quickly sift the wheat from the chaff-and do so with grace and kindness. 

When we use our pitta fire for good, we have the ability to see the white-hot truth about ourselves and others. 

When it is out of balance, we become overly critical and compulsive—like those people who insist on rearranging others’ emotional spice cabinets or micromanaging a grown child’s life path.

🌱 Are you ready to learn more about the three Ayurvedic mind-body types AKA doshas? Learn more in my podcast episode, “The Three Doshas: Are You a Bullfrog or an Orchid?” 

Comment “179” and I’ll send you the link!
Join us for Dopamine, Desire & The Sacred Feminine Join us for Dopamine, Desire & The Sacred Feminine: Reclaiming Kama, Creativity & the Lost Art of Longing this month in the Spirit Sessions Membership. 🔥
We live in a world engineered to hijack desire. 

Every scroll, click, notification and purchase promises satisfaction, yet many women feel more exhausted, disconnected and uninspired than ever. 

In this provocative Spirit Session, Katie explores the difference between dopamine-driven craving and the deeper force of kama described in Ayurveda and Tantra: the sacred life force that fuels love, creativity, intimacy, purpose and spiritual awakening. 

Together we’ll examine how modern culture fragments our attention and drains our vitality, and how reclaiming desire as a sacred force can restore radiance, passion and meaning.

In this session you’ll learn:

✨ The difference between dopamine-driven stimulation and authentic desire
✨ Why so many women feel simultaneously overstimulated and undernourished
✨ The Ayurvedic understanding of kama as a sacred force of creation
✨ How chronic scrolling, shopping, achievement and distraction can distort the natural flow of life force
✨ The surprising connection between sexual energy, creativity, purpose and spiritual vitality
✨ How to recognize the difference between longing that depletes you and longing that awakens you
✨ Why desire is not the enemy of spirituality, but one of its most misunderstood doorways
✨ The relationship between Shakti, magnetism, beauty and embodied feminine power
✨ Practices to restore healthy desire, reclaim your attention and reconnect with what truly nourishes you
✨ How to move from addiction, compulsion and burnout into inspiration, devotion and aliveness

Join us LIVE for this workshop on June 11th at 10am US Eastern Time or catch the replay (plus get access to our massive vault of prior workshops and classes) when you join the membership. 

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Many of you know my house pretty much was totaled Many of you know my house pretty much was totaled in a fire. Lost most everything I owned in the span of a few hours. ⁠
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I was amazed at my resiliency. Still am. ⁠
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But I wanna’ be honest with you about my “aftermath.”⁠
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As the insurance “battles” mounted and the home rebuild “project” ensued, I have found myself asking myself to become even more disciplined than ever. ⁠
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But that level of ask is hard on a woman’s body. We aren’t meant to always be “on.” We are not meant for constant war. ⁠
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Over and over again over the past few months, I have had to remind myself that my biology is cyclical, rhythmic, relational and sensitive to stress. I need nourishment, sunlight, sleep, safety, touch, meaning, laughter and connection.⁠
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I’ve had to remind myself that I am not like my boyfriend, whose man-hormones largely operate on a 24-hour cycle. My body moves through an intricate symphony over the course of a month. ⁠
Ayurveda has understood this for thousands of years.⁠
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In Ayurveda, healing is not domination over the body. Healing comes from creating a loving relationship with the body.⁠
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The feminine system thrives with:⁠
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🌞 warmth⁠
🌞 mineral-rich nourishment⁠
🌞 adequate rest⁠
🌞 cyclical living⁠
🌞 pleasure without guilt⁠
🌞 movement that energizes instead of depletes⁠
🌞 deep breathing states⁠
🌞 community⁠
🌞 rhythm⁠
🌞 enoughness⁠
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This does not mean women are weak. ⁠
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It means women are powerful in a different way. And men need these things too. ⁠
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As I do less and feel more, the results are pretty fast: sleep deepens, cravings calm, I have more energy to workout, my skin tone improves, my belly flattens and my desire to love-romp returns. ⁠
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Here’s a reminder to myself and you in what can be challenging times: stop believing your worth is measured by how much exhaustion you can tolerate.⁠
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At The Shakti School, this is one of the deepest conversations we have with women.⁠
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We dive into all of this and more in our free course, Women’s Wisdom and Ayurveda. And it’s yours to dive into starting right now. ⁠
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Just comment WISDOM below and I’ll send it to you. 🌹🌙⁠
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With warmth,⁠
Katie

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