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Sex

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The pelvic floor was designed not to be a muscle you train, but rather a muscle that moves fluidly in connection with the muscles in your lower limbs and trunk of your body. The combination of these muscles working together in a feminine flow is what results in a healthy pelvic floor. Contrary to popular belief, repetitively engaging in kegel exercises (exercises that train the pelvis to contract) is not a balanced approach for strengthening the pelvic bowl, unless you are using them for postpartum recovery or targeting a certain injury or imbalance. Don’t get me wrong, kegel exercises do have their place in women’s health. Kegels and other tightening exercises (like using a jade egg: See p. 198 of Happy, Healthy, Sexy) can be extremely beneficial to mother’s after giving birth or any woman working to retrain, retone, and re-tighten the vaginal walls. Outside of that, when we exclusively focus on contracting the pelvic floor we become vulnerable to many health imbalances including chronic stress, bloating, hormonal issues, and possibly pelvic floor disorder. When our pelvic floor muscles are too tight it can dull our sensitivity to arousal and sexual pleasure. For a flower to open, it must surrender it’s petals. It all comes back to balance.

Did you know that there is a direct line of fascia linking your jaw to your pelvis?

The connection and bio-mechanical relationship that your jaw and pelvis have is particularly helpful for women to understand. It's especially relevant for women with pelvic floor pain. A study in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics from Hanover Medical School in Germany revealed that TMJ (aka temporo-mandibular joint dysfunction) plays an important role in hip mobility restriction experienced by patients with pain. This indicated a connectedness between these two intrinsic parts of the body.

If you've been stuck in a pattern of clenching the pelvis it may be difficult to even know where to begin when it comes to relaxing those muscles. Going to the jawline can be a more accessible place to start and will seem to magically open the pelvic bowl. Ina May Gaskin, a female healer and wise leader in midwifery, even coined the term “the sphincter law” to explain that if the jaw and throat are relaxed then the buttocks and pelvis will be too. She says, “The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.” (Gaskin, 2003, p. 170) On the flip side, if you are clenching your jaw often, you’re probably also clenching your pelvis.

How do I know if my pelvis is contracted?

If you exercise frequently, do yoga, stress easily, or wear heels above 1/8th of an inch, your pelvis is probably contracted. In the modern day yoga and fitness world many women are cued to “contract the navel, lift your belly in and up, draw your navel in and pull your tailbone down,” and while these cues may have there place for certain exercises, if you aren’t spending adequate time intentionally doing the opposite and relaxing you are cuing your body to stay in a hyperarousal state. When we wear heels it causes an anterior pelvic tilt.

These incredible bodies we live in were made to keep each body part in balance with the other. If one body part becomes fixed, the whole system has to compensate. This can lead to a chain reaction of imbalance causing our abdominal organs to be squashed and our belly to bloat.

Many of us have lost our sensitivity to even feel this hyper-flexed state because we've become somewhat disconnected from our bodies. By engaging in more fluid, less structured movement, and through time spent softening, surrendering, and relaxing the pelvic floor those muscles will actually become stronger! Just like the rest of the body, when you overtax a certain muscle, you need adequate rest and recovery time in order for that muscle to actually grow and remain healthy.

How can we maintain an overall healthy pelvic floor?

Diversify your movements! Don’t just focus on one exercise. Doing kegels is similar to doing a bicep curl for your pelvis. You’re only going to strengthen one muscle. Try engaging in a wide range of fluid motions. Movements involving squatting, lunging, and lengthening of the limbs will help tone the pelvis while also help to strengthen the extremities which will create ease on the pelvis while also gaining strength and longevity.

Exercises to tone, relax, & strengthen the pelvis:

  • Breathing practices with elongated exhales
  • Long walks in shoes without heels
  • Take pause throughout the day to relax the jaw
  • Lay down with some massage balls!
  • Get or give yourself a face massage
  • Chakravakasana (cat cow) with lion’s breath to loosen the hips and the jaw
  • Anytime you are doing tightening or strengthening exercises make sure to take adequate recovery time and focus on relaxing the jaw & the pelvic bowl
  • Our Foam roller and pelvic release classes in the Shakti School Membership Community:
Pelvic Power Bowl
March2019
May2019

Login here to view these classes or sign up for one month free using the discount code FREETRIAL at checkout.

How will having a more relaxed & toned pelvis lead to experiencing more pleasure?

When the pelvic floor muscles are chronically tensed the muscles will eventually become less flexible. When the muscles are unable to move and stretch, sensations will become weakened and the ability to engage with that area emotionally will also become more difficult.

In Happy Healthy Sexy: Ayurveda Wisdom for Modern Women, I wrote: “Pleasure-power has everything to do with cultivating our ability to feel and experience pleasure in daily life-- in and out of the bedroom. It’s about getting quiet and content enough to experience the immense beauty that is always present when our senses are tuned in.” Similarly, when we educate ourselves on the pelvic floor it is essential for us to focus on being in continuous engagement with our bodies. The key element to building strength, fluidity, and our ability to experience pleasure is to return to movements that are less rigid, more balanced, and more fluid. It is there where we will find more ease with the body, mind, and spirit.

Our Favorite Products for Pelvic Floor Health

Foria Awaken Arousel Fluid and Personal Lubricant

We LOVE this product. It's main ingredients are Hemp (a source of CBD!) and Kava. It helps relax the pelvic floor and increase blood circulation to nourish your tissues and increase your capacity for pleasure. Get 10% off your order with the promocode SHAKTILOVE.

Jade Eggs Set

Banyan’s Coconut Brahmi Oil

Use promocode SHAKTI10 for 10% off your order with Banyan.

Foods that are good for your connective tissue:

  • Bone Broth
  • Ghee
  • Collagen
  • Tocos (Plant collagen-like supplement) Receive 15% with code SHAKTISUN
  • Magnesium
  • Spring Water
  • Chia Seeds
  • Golden Milk
  • Women's Blend Tea

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19539119

https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/kegel-queen/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4573594/

https://www.alignpt.com/mysterious-connection-pelvis-jaw/

https://www.christinemathesonnd.com/blog/pelvic-health-jaw-tension-connection

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TheShaktiSchool

🍁 In the spirit of the giving season we are off 🍁 In the spirit of the giving season we are offering a limited Gratitude Sale this weekend only for Level 1 Ayurveda School.⁠
⁠
Why? Because we are grateful for this program, this community, our team….and for YOU.⁠
⁠
We believe you deserve to deepen your soul’s calling in 2026.⁠
⁠
Now through December 1st only, we are bringing back earlybird pricing ONLY for the next few days! ⁠
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💛 Comment GRATITUDE for the special sign-up link which gets you $500+ off tuition only through December 1st.⁠
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Don't miss out – get in with the Gratitude Sale only through Monday night at midnight Eastern time honey-mama!
I’ve been thinking about this phrase we toss aro I’ve been thinking about this phrase we toss around facetiously: “Thanks for nothing.” 

We lace our voice with resentment and the subtle (or not so subtle) middle finger to whatever didn’t go our way. 

But lately, I’ve been reclaiming it. Sanctifying it. 

Turning it into a quiet little prayer: Thank you. I am here. I am grateful for no reason. 

Science keeps confirming what the mystics have whispered for millennia: gratitude literally changes us.

Studies from UCLA and Harvard show that consistent gratitude practices calm the amygdala, boost dopamine and serotonin, expand heart-rate variability and even strengthen immune function. 

In other words: saying “thank you” rewires the nervous system and ushers the whole body into a different frequency. 

But here’s where it gets counter-intuitive: 

Most of us only practice gratitude for the shiny things - the wins at work, blessings in our bank account, the relationships feeling good… 

But what about the heartbreaks? 
The long nights in the dark? 
The relationships that stretched us, cracked us and forced us to grow? 
The strange, sacred mandala of our lives — the shadowy petals included? 

This is where “Thanks for nothing” becomes a holy prayer. 

Because sometimes the “nothings” (the thing that didn’t happen, the door that didn’t open, the expectation that didn’t get met) is the quiet architecture of our becoming something GREATER. 

More heartful. More real. 

Sometimes what appears as an absence is actually a deep cosmic protection. The chaos is the curriculum. 

So today, I’m practicing a new kind of gratitude: 

Thanks for the heartbreak that humbled me. 
Thanks for the silence that made me listen deeper. 
Thanks for the plans that fell apart, so I could fall into myself. 
Thanks for the nothing that was actually everything. 

This isn’t spiritual bypass. It’s radical spiritual bravery. 

It’s choosing to bow to the full freaking thing. The yummy parts and the ones with biting teeth. 

It’s remembering that we don’t need perfect circumstances to cultivate a loving, grounded physiology. 

So, friend…Happy Thanksgiving. 

Thanks for nothing. 
And thanks for everything.
These acts may seem small, but they are powerful A These acts may seem small, but they are powerful Ayurvedic rituals for dropping into your heart and cultivating gratitude for the Earth, our relationships and our food. 🌿 ⁠
⁠
🤲🏼 Offer gratitude. Give thanks to Big Mama Nature and feel that She is providing you with nourishment through the sacrifice of other plants and animals.⁠
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🍲 Feed someone else first. First feeding others is a sign of our gratitude to the Big Mama who is feeding us. If you are single, make some extra food for a neighbor, water the plants or feed the birds.⁠
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🍽️ Set the table. Even if you are eating alone, laying down a beautiful tablecloth, placemats and cloth napkins tells your unconscious, "Eating is sacred."⁠
⁠
📵 Be present. Eating while web-surfing, watching TV, texting or driving dampens the digestive fire.⁠
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🥄 Chew slowly. Chew mindfully. Feel grateful for where you are now in your life.⁠
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🧘🏼‍♀️ Eat in a good mood: Our mood carries power into the food we eat. If we eat while we are angry or sad, or any other negative mood state, that mood will be transmitted into the food we eat, and deeper into the body and mind.⁠
⁠
Save for your quick reminders on how to ritualize eating this week. 🍽💗🍂
You know you are feeling GOOD with Ayurveda when y You know you are feeling GOOD with Ayurveda when you are snapping selfies on I-81 in a roadside gas station somewhere down in Tennessee…😂🪷😂🪐🐯🪐🌋 @sohumhealingresort hosted me for a week. Get ready for more exciting collaborations between us in the future! Who wants a Shakti Tantra + cooking retreat with Chef Sean!?!
In deep reverence for our Crone Mama Fall (+ Winte In deep reverence for our Crone Mama Fall (+ Winter), I am bowing before the altar of all things spicy, warm, orange, yellow and brown. (South hemisphere ladies, we see you in your bikinis!)⁠
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I am also owning the heck out of my basic self. That means:⁠
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1. Yoga pants⁠
2. Furry Boots⁠
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and…⁠
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3. Pumpkin Spice⁠
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Our team member Eva over here at Team Shakti came up with this RIDICULOUSLY yummy, Ayurveda-inspired Pumpkin Spice Latte. With warming ginger, black pepper and nutmeg to help kindle your agni plus some grounding pumpkin and optional ashwagandha, what more could the vata in each of us need!? 😉☕⁠
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🍁 Comment “PSL” below for the recipe. 👇🏼💌

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