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Sex

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The pelvic floor was designed not to be a muscle you train, but rather a muscle that moves fluidly in connection with the muscles in your lower limbs and trunk of your body. The combination of these muscles working together in a feminine flow is what results in a healthy pelvic floor. Contrary to popular belief, repetitively engaging in kegel exercises (exercises that train the pelvis to contract) is not a balanced approach for strengthening the pelvic bowl, unless you are using them for postpartum recovery or targeting a certain injury or imbalance. Don’t get me wrong, kegel exercises do have their place in women’s health. Kegels and other tightening exercises (like using a jade egg: See p. 198 of Happy, Healthy, Sexy) can be extremely beneficial to mother’s after giving birth or any woman working to retrain, retone, and re-tighten the vaginal walls. Outside of that, when we exclusively focus on contracting the pelvic floor we become vulnerable to many health imbalances including chronic stress, bloating, hormonal issues, and possibly pelvic floor disorder. When our pelvic floor muscles are too tight it can dull our sensitivity to arousal and sexual pleasure. For a flower to open, it must surrender it’s petals. It all comes back to balance.

Did you know that there is a direct line of fascia linking your jaw to your pelvis?

The connection and bio-mechanical relationship that your jaw and pelvis have is particularly helpful for women to understand. It's especially relevant for women with pelvic floor pain. A study in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics from Hanover Medical School in Germany revealed that TMJ (aka temporo-mandibular joint dysfunction) plays an important role in hip mobility restriction experienced by patients with pain. This indicated a connectedness between these two intrinsic parts of the body.

If you've been stuck in a pattern of clenching the pelvis it may be difficult to even know where to begin when it comes to relaxing those muscles. Going to the jawline can be a more accessible place to start and will seem to magically open the pelvic bowl. Ina May Gaskin, a female healer and wise leader in midwifery, even coined the term “the sphincter law” to explain that if the jaw and throat are relaxed then the buttocks and pelvis will be too. She says, “The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.” (Gaskin, 2003, p. 170) On the flip side, if you are clenching your jaw often, you’re probably also clenching your pelvis.

How do I know if my pelvis is contracted?

If you exercise frequently, do yoga, stress easily, or wear heels above 1/8th of an inch, your pelvis is probably contracted. In the modern day yoga and fitness world many women are cued to “contract the navel, lift your belly in and up, draw your navel in and pull your tailbone down,” and while these cues may have there place for certain exercises, if you aren’t spending adequate time intentionally doing the opposite and relaxing you are cuing your body to stay in a hyperarousal state. When we wear heels it causes an anterior pelvic tilt.

These incredible bodies we live in were made to keep each body part in balance with the other. If one body part becomes fixed, the whole system has to compensate. This can lead to a chain reaction of imbalance causing our abdominal organs to be squashed and our belly to bloat.

Many of us have lost our sensitivity to even feel this hyper-flexed state because we've become somewhat disconnected from our bodies. By engaging in more fluid, less structured movement, and through time spent softening, surrendering, and relaxing the pelvic floor those muscles will actually become stronger! Just like the rest of the body, when you overtax a certain muscle, you need adequate rest and recovery time in order for that muscle to actually grow and remain healthy.

How can we maintain an overall healthy pelvic floor?

Diversify your movements! Don’t just focus on one exercise. Doing kegels is similar to doing a bicep curl for your pelvis. You’re only going to strengthen one muscle. Try engaging in a wide range of fluid motions. Movements involving squatting, lunging, and lengthening of the limbs will help tone the pelvis while also help to strengthen the extremities which will create ease on the pelvis while also gaining strength and longevity.

Exercises to tone, relax, & strengthen the pelvis:

  • Breathing practices with elongated exhales
  • Long walks in shoes without heels
  • Take pause throughout the day to relax the jaw
  • Lay down with some massage balls!
  • Get or give yourself a face massage
  • Chakravakasana (cat cow) with lion’s breath to loosen the hips and the jaw
  • Anytime you are doing tightening or strengthening exercises make sure to take adequate recovery time and focus on relaxing the jaw & the pelvic bowl
  • Our Foam roller and pelvic release classes in the Shakti School Membership Community:
Pelvic Power Bowl
March2019
May2019

Login here to view these classes or sign up for one month free using the discount code FREETRIAL at checkout.

How will having a more relaxed & toned pelvis lead to experiencing more pleasure?

When the pelvic floor muscles are chronically tensed the muscles will eventually become less flexible. When the muscles are unable to move and stretch, sensations will become weakened and the ability to engage with that area emotionally will also become more difficult.

In Happy Healthy Sexy: Ayurveda Wisdom for Modern Women, I wrote: “Pleasure-power has everything to do with cultivating our ability to feel and experience pleasure in daily life-- in and out of the bedroom. It’s about getting quiet and content enough to experience the immense beauty that is always present when our senses are tuned in.” Similarly, when we educate ourselves on the pelvic floor it is essential for us to focus on being in continuous engagement with our bodies. The key element to building strength, fluidity, and our ability to experience pleasure is to return to movements that are less rigid, more balanced, and more fluid. It is there where we will find more ease with the body, mind, and spirit.

Our Favorite Products for Pelvic Floor Health

Foria Awaken Arousel Fluid and Personal Lubricant

We LOVE this product. It's main ingredients are Hemp (a source of CBD!) and Kava. It helps relax the pelvic floor and increase blood circulation to nourish your tissues and increase your capacity for pleasure. Get 10% off your order with the promocode SHAKTILOVE.

Jade Eggs Set

Banyan’s Coconut Brahmi Oil

Use promocode SHAKTI10 for 10% off your order with Banyan.

Foods that are good for your connective tissue:

  • Bone Broth
  • Ghee
  • Collagen
  • Tocos (Plant collagen-like supplement) Receive 15% with code SHAKTISUN
  • Magnesium
  • Spring Water
  • Chia Seeds
  • Golden Milk
  • Women's Blend Tea

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19539119

https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/kegel-queen/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4573594/

https://www.alignpt.com/mysterious-connection-pelvis-jaw/

https://www.christinemathesonnd.com/blog/pelvic-health-jaw-tension-connection

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TheShaktiSchool

One of the simplest ways to support ourselves thro One of the simplest ways to support ourselves through the warmth of summer is by slowing down enough to enjoy small rituals.

In Ayurveda, summer is associated with pitta dosha, which carries qualities of heat, intensity and sharpness. During this season, we often benefit from incorporating cooling foods, herbs and practices that help us feel refreshed and balanced.

This Rose Mint Sun Tea is one of our favorite ways to stay hydrated while embracing the sweetness of the season.

For this recipe, just let the sun do the steeping. 

Steep dried rose petals and fresh mint in a glass jar under direct sunlight for a few hours. (No need to measure perfectly - just add what you’ve got on hand!) Sip room temperature or slightly chilled throughout the day to stay hydrated and soothe Pitta.

🌹 Rose Mint Sun Tea

Ingredients
• Fresh mint leaves
• Dried rose petals
• Filtered water
• Optional: sliced cucumber, lemon, or a touch of honey

Directions
1. Add herbs to a glass jar filled with filtered water.
2. Allow the tea to infuse in the sun for 2–4 hours.
3. Strain and serve over ice.
4. Sip slowly and enjoy.

Sometimes wellness isn’t about adding more to our already full lives. Sometimes it’s simply pausing long enough to enjoy a beautiful cup of tea.

May this small ritual bring some chill to your pitta on warm days ahead. 🌞
When our desires are not connected to God, it lead When our desires are not connected to God, it leads to grasping. And grasping can lead to obsession, addiction, compulsion and unhealthy attachments.⁠
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When we let ourselves FEEL where our deeper longings are coming from, and we bring in the healing light of our attention and our awareness, we get more clarity on what we really want.⁠
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From a tantric perspective, underneath every obsession, there's energy. Underneath longing, desire and fantasy, there's this deep need for belonging. Underneath all of that craving there is energy, vitality and aliveness. ⁠
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In the latest episode of Spirit Sessions Podcast, we’re diving deeper into longing, attachment and craving.⁠
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We’ll explore the psychology and ancient spiritual wisdom around limerence - a state of infatuation with a person or idea, looking at how dopamine, social media and the search for external validation often keep us caught in cycles of unfulfilled longing. ⁠
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In this episode, you’ll hear:⁠
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~ What is limerence?⁠
~ The difference between infatuation and love⁠
~ What’s going on in the brain when we’re in a state of limerence?⁠
~ How to tell if you’re in a limerence relationship⁠
~ What do the ancient Buddhist and Tantric texts say on this topic?⁠
~ The “hungry ghost”⁠
~ Breadcrumbing⁠
~ Anticipation vs. actual pleasure⁠
~ How social media and advertisers use hypnosis⁠
~ The Ayurvedic concept of Kāma⁠
~ Making choices from a place of clarity⁠
~ The deep spiritual opportunity limerence offers⁠
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🎧 Listen now—comment 246 below for the link to the episode.⁠
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And if these teachings are resonating with you, spend the next year with us learning Ayurveda in a way that's feminine, embodied and deeply heart-transforming.⁠
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Sign up for 2027 Level 1 or Level 2 Ayurveda School before August 1st and you'll receive our Hot Girl Summer bonus: $100 off, a Paavani Pitta Sampler Kit, a Year of Spirit Sessions, and my Summer Recipe E-Book Mixtape.⁠
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Just use code HGS100 at registration check out to receive the discount and ALL the gifts! ⁠
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🌸 Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL below to register now.
There is something profoundly healing about being There is something profoundly healing about being around friends who celebrate your growth, reflect back your gifts and remind you who you are when you’ve forgotten for a minute. This is the medicine of sisterhood. 

The Shakti School has always been more than a certification to me - it’s women across the world becoming lifelong mirrors, cheerleaders and soul family for one another. And I think that kind of support changes lives. 💖

Ready to step into that energy for 2027? The doors for Level 1 Shakti Ayurveda School are officially open for early bird enrollment. 🔥

🌹 Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL to learn more and say YES to making 2027 your year—when you register for L1 or L2 before August 1st, you’ll get all of our Hot Girl Summer Bonus gifts and $100 off!

🌸 Want to get a taste? Comment WISDOM to get our free Women’s Wisdom and Ayurveda course and start learning right now.
Here’s your Ayurvedic Guide to the Sun 👇🏼⁠
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Ayurvedic wisdom reminds us that the sun is actually really good for us - it’s life-giving.⁠
⁠
The sun carries information, and that information enters the body through the skin, our largest organ. Much of our seasonal affective disorder and plummeting vitamin D levels are a direct result of losing our natural relationship with light and with the sun.⁠
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Our ancestors may or may not have been outside all day long, but they had a relationship with the sun. They watched its rising and falling every day.⁠
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One of the first steps you can take to establish a relationship with the sun that helps your body and mind thrive is to get outside at sunrise and sunset as often as possible.⁠
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Ayurveda teaches that sunrise and sunset are two moments when that information, that download of pure prana, is at its highest. These times are considered the most sattvic, clarifying and purifying.⁠
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Our ancestors also recognized and honored the sun’s qualities at different times of day.⁠
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Use some type of protection from the sun, especially between about 11 a.m. and 2 or 3 p.m. That could look like natural sunscreen, shade or clothing that protects your skin.⁠
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However, getting midday sun on your skin is also essential because that's when vitamin D production is highest. Vitamin D needs to hit the skin in order to penetrate into the body. Try to be outside during those hours for at least 15 minutes to receive that vitamin D light.⁠
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P.S. Don’t forget about quality sun skincare. Throw out anything in your bathroom that you wouldn’t feel comfortable sticking your finger in and putting in your mouth! ⁠
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Lady, what if this summer wasn't about becoming a better version of yourself, but simply becoming MORE yourself?⁠
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That's exactly why we created our Hot Girl Summer Bonus. When you join 2027 Level 1 or Level 2 Ayurveda School before August 1st, you'll receive $100 off, a Paavani Pitta Sampler Kit, a Year of Spirit Sessions, and our Summer Recipe E-Book.⁠
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Just use code HGS100 at checkout to receive the discount and all the gifts.⁠
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🌞 Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL below to learn more and join us in 2027.
Gone are the days of overbooking yourself, overthi Gone are the days of overbooking yourself, overthinking everything and pretending exhaustion is a personality trait.⁠
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The new Hot Girl Summer?⁠
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She's hydrated.⁠
She's unbothered.⁠
She's in bed by 10.⁠
She's protecting her peace.⁠
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And somehow she's glowing harder than ever.⁠
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That's why we've added a brand-new, watermelon-infused Mega Bonus to make your summer even sweeter.⁠
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Think cooling rituals, radiant skin, happy hormones, better energy and simple Ayurvedic practices designed to help you feel refreshed from the inside out.⁠
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Because this season isn't about doing more.⁠
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It's about slowing down enough to actually enjoy your life.⁠
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So grab your watermelon, find a shady spot, and let's make this your most radiant summer yet.⁠
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Today, on the Summer Solstice, we're officially launching our Hot Girl Summer: Lay Low & Glow Bonus for women joining our 2027 Level 1 or Level 2 Ayurveda School. ⁠
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When you enroll between now and August 1st, you'll receive…⁠
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💖 $100 off your tuition ⁠(on top of earlybird tuition)⁠
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🌿 A FREE Paavani Summer Sampler Kit (cooling spritzer, body oil and digestive blend)⁠ @paavaniayurveda⁠
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Just use code HGS100 when registering for 2027 Ayurveda School (L1 & L2) to receive the discount and ALL the gifts! ⁠
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🍉 Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL below to learn more and join us.

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