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The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The pelvic floor was designed not to be a muscle you train, but rather a muscle that moves fluidly in connection with the muscles in your lower limbs and trunk of your body. The combination of these muscles working together in a feminine flow is what results in a healthy pelvic floor. Contrary to popular belief, repetitively engaging in kegel exercises (exercises that train the pelvis to contract) is not a balanced approach for strengthening the pelvic bowl, unless you are using them for postpartum recovery or targeting a certain injury or imbalance. Don’t get me wrong, kegel exercises do have their place in women’s health. Kegels and other tightening exercises (like using a jade egg: See p. 198 of Happy, Healthy, Sexy) can be extremely beneficial to mother’s after giving birth or any woman working to retrain, retone, and re-tighten the vaginal walls. Outside of that, when we exclusively focus on contracting the pelvic floor we become vulnerable to many health imbalances including chronic stress, bloating, hormonal issues, and possibly pelvic floor disorder. When our pelvic floor muscles are too tight it can dull our sensitivity to arousal and sexual pleasure. For a flower to open, it must surrender it’s petals. It all comes back to balance.

Did you know that there is a direct line of fascia linking your jaw to your pelvis?

The connection and bio-mechanical relationship that your jaw and pelvis have is particularly helpful for women to understand. It's especially relevant for women with pelvic floor pain. A study in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics from Hanover Medical School in Germany revealed that TMJ (aka temporo-mandibular joint dysfunction) plays an important role in hip mobility restriction experienced by patients with pain. This indicated a connectedness between these two intrinsic parts of the body.

If you've been stuck in a pattern of clenching the pelvis it may be difficult to even know where to begin when it comes to relaxing those muscles. Going to the jawline can be a more accessible place to start and will seem to magically open the pelvic bowl. Ina May Gaskin, a female healer and wise leader in midwifery, even coined the term “the sphincter law” to explain that if the jaw and throat are relaxed then the buttocks and pelvis will be too. She says, “The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.” (Gaskin, 2003, p. 170) On the flip side, if you are clenching your jaw often, you’re probably also clenching your pelvis.

How do I know if my pelvis is contracted?

If you exercise frequently, do yoga, stress easily, or wear heels above 1/8th of an inch, your pelvis is probably contracted. In the modern day yoga and fitness world many women are cued to “contract the navel, lift your belly in and up, draw your navel in and pull your tailbone down,” and while these cues may have there place for certain exercises, if you aren’t spending adequate time intentionally doing the opposite and relaxing you are cuing your body to stay in a hyperarousal state. When we wear heels it causes an anterior pelvic tilt.

These incredible bodies we live in were made to keep each body part in balance with the other. If one body part becomes fixed, the whole system has to compensate. This can lead to a chain reaction of imbalance causing our abdominal organs to be squashed and our belly to bloat.

Many of us have lost our sensitivity to even feel this hyper-flexed state because we've become somewhat disconnected from our bodies. By engaging in more fluid, less structured movement, and through time spent softening, surrendering, and relaxing the pelvic floor those muscles will actually become stronger! Just like the rest of the body, when you overtax a certain muscle, you need adequate rest and recovery time in order for that muscle to actually grow and remain healthy.

How can we maintain an overall healthy pelvic floor?

Diversify your movements! Don’t just focus on one exercise. Doing kegels is similar to doing a bicep curl for your pelvis. You’re only going to strengthen one muscle. Try engaging in a wide range of fluid motions. Movements involving squatting, lunging, and lengthening of the limbs will help tone the pelvis while also help to strengthen the extremities which will create ease on the pelvis while also gaining strength and longevity.

Exercises to tone, relax, & strengthen the pelvis:

  • Breathing practices with elongated exhales
  • Long walks in shoes without heels
  • Take pause throughout the day to relax the jaw
  • Lay down with some massage balls!
  • Get or give yourself a face massage
  • Chakravakasana (cat cow) with lion’s breath to loosen the hips and the jaw
  • Anytime you are doing tightening or strengthening exercises make sure to take adequate recovery time and focus on relaxing the jaw & the pelvic bowl
  • Our Foam roller and pelvic release classes in the Shakti School Membership Community:
Pelvic Power Bowl
March2019
May2019

Login here to view these classes or sign up for one month free using the discount code FREETRIAL at checkout.

How will having a more relaxed & toned pelvis lead to experiencing more pleasure?

When the pelvic floor muscles are chronically tensed the muscles will eventually become less flexible. When the muscles are unable to move and stretch, sensations will become weakened and the ability to engage with that area emotionally will also become more difficult.

In Happy Healthy Sexy: Ayurveda Wisdom for Modern Women, I wrote: “Pleasure-power has everything to do with cultivating our ability to feel and experience pleasure in daily life-- in and out of the bedroom. It’s about getting quiet and content enough to experience the immense beauty that is always present when our senses are tuned in.” Similarly, when we educate ourselves on the pelvic floor it is essential for us to focus on being in continuous engagement with our bodies. The key element to building strength, fluidity, and our ability to experience pleasure is to return to movements that are less rigid, more balanced, and more fluid. It is there where we will find more ease with the body, mind, and spirit.

Our Favorite Products for Pelvic Floor Health

Foria Awaken Arousel Fluid and Personal Lubricant

We LOVE this product. It's main ingredients are Hemp (a source of CBD!) and Kava. It helps relax the pelvic floor and increase blood circulation to nourish your tissues and increase your capacity for pleasure. Get 10% off your order with the promocode SHAKTILOVE.

Jade Eggs Set

Banyan’s Coconut Brahmi Oil

Use promocode SHAKTI10 for 10% off your order with Banyan.

Foods that are good for your connective tissue:

  • Bone Broth
  • Ghee
  • Collagen
  • Tocos (Plant collagen-like supplement) Receive 15% with code SHAKTISUN
  • Magnesium
  • Spring Water
  • Chia Seeds
  • Golden Milk
  • Women's Blend Tea

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19539119

https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/kegel-queen/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4573594/

https://www.alignpt.com/mysterious-connection-pelvis-jaw/

https://www.christinemathesonnd.com/blog/pelvic-health-jaw-tension-connection

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Sex and the Three Doshas

We are all a composite of all three doshas. There are times when you may feel like making love like a bunny (vata style) or lounging about like a tigress (kapha style). Remember, you have all of nature’s gifts at your disposal, so don’t put yourself in a sexual doshic box.

That said, we do have tendencies that we were born with, and those tendencies lead us toward behaviors, which in turn have their own doshic expressions. For example, vata is the part of our sexual expression that is mobile. When vata is balanced, we have freedom of movement, but also the ability to hold back our climax. When out of balance, climax can happen too fast and sex can leave us feeling depleted and breathless. Pitta is the part of our sexuality that relates to sexual vitality and vigor. It is the part of us that initiates sex and feels the burning passion for our lover. When out of balance, we may have no desire. Kapha sexuality is related to our sexual staying power, potency, and physical unctuousness. When in balance, our sex secretions are of good quantity and quality. Excess kapha can lead to sexual laziness and a heavy quality to lovemaking.

Sexual expression is all about expansiveness. Through the union of two beings, and orgasm, there is a potentiality to experience a state of consciousness very different from the consciousness you hold, say, in line at the post office or on the phone with your mother (thank God). Due to this potential for expansion, sex can be incredibly healing or incredibly destructive.

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Healthy, life-bringing, satisfying sex requires open channels. Think of the entire mind/body as a complex and interrelated system of physical and energetic tubes (srotas and nadis). Just as there are channels that move our blood, lymph, and waste products, there are also channels that move our sex

ual energy. In general, if we are blocked in any of the channels, our sexual energy can be blocked. This is why chronically constipated women commonly suffer from depressed libido and sleep disorders, in that both sleep and sex require a relaxing and an opening in the channels that govern letting go.

Similarly, if we are worried or unsatisfied, our sex channels get blocked. In this holistic framework, taking care of your digestion, skin, and emotions can create a mandala-like positive effect on every other realm of your life. Who would have thought it? Igniting the power of your digestion may be the best way to have more fulfilling orgasms.

~Katie

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Last week, my house burned. Half of it gone. Smoke Last week, my house burned. Half of it gone. Smoke damage everywhere else. In one night, almost every material thing I owned was lost.

It was 1 a.m. when Ojas, my Bernedoodle, barked in a way I’d never heard before. Groggy, I grabbed my glasses and opened my bedroom door to a wall of orange - sparks, smoke, alarms.

I froze. My body didn’t know what to do. But somewhere inside, a voice said move. I clutched Ojas’s collar, bolted through the back door, and landed in the garage with shaking hands.

I couldn’t even press 911. My fingers wouldn’t work. “Okay, girl,” I whispered to myself. “You know what this is. Your body’s in freeze. Breathe. Dial the numbers.”

And then - peace. A strange calm washed over me. A voice inside said: You’ve been training for this. God is with you. You are not alone.

Worried the garage would ignite, I grabbed the only thing I could find for a leash - a bungee cord - and stumbled outside in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. I stood barefoot, watching one side of my house glow molten orange. The night was silent except for the crickets. It was terrifying and strangely holy all at once, watching my home consume itself.

Here’s the wildest part:

Just two weeks earlier, I had been teaching a class at The Shakti School on fear. We practiced something called The Precious Things Practice, a Buddhist meditation where you imagine giving away everything you love - first easy things, then the hardest. Not to lose them, but to feel the grief of impermanence… and to practice letting go.

I didn’t know it then, but I was rehearsing for this exact moment.

And it worked. The practices I’ve taught for over a decade became the lifeline I clung to as my world literally burned. They held me steady in loss. They reminded me: everything is fleeting. 

Everything is Divine. And beneath it all, there is still love.

I’ve never felt so held. So raw. So real. 

With a heart full of gratitude,
Katie

P.S. - The whole story is in the latest podcast episode. Comment 226 and I’ll send you the link.
Raise your hand if your spirit guides (or God) has Raise your hand if your spirit guides (or God) has ever been a little too blunt with you. 🙋🏼‍♀️✨

Whether it happens through a door closing abruptly, those moments when you ask for a clear answer but are met with radio-silence, or straight-up rejection delivered by the Universe, walking this path is not always unicorns and rainbows. Also - I have found that my spirit already KNOWS the answers, I may not always be ready to HEAR it…

But these “blunt” spiritual moments often contain the biggest lessons and spiritual initiations.

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Eva’s story of pivoting her career from corporat Eva’s story of pivoting her career from corporate, NYC architect to Ayurvedic Health Counselor through The Shakti School! 👆🏼

“My soul was dying…I had been trying to force myself into this masculine, corporate world that I just didn’t really fit in. I decided I just had to leave it all.” – Eva Peterson

🎓 Eva is a graduate of both levels of our Shakti Ayurveda School training program. Now, Eva is a life coach + Ayurvedic Health Counselor and works with activists, changemakers, and healers who want to expand their impact while preserving their health and wholeness. She helps clients align with their mission by blending mindset work, Ayurvedic self-care, and personalized clarity tools so they can lead transformational lives without burnout. Learn more at https://theevapeterson.com/ 🌿

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If you’re the one everyone comes to when they’ If you’re the one everyone comes to when they’re in pain…

If you’ve studied all the healing tools but still wake up wondering: “Why do I sometimes STILL feel so far from myself and my potential?”

I see you, sister.

Because that was me.

For years, I taught, I held space, I gave everything to others, but I STILL struggled to genuinely give myself the warmth, tenderness, generosity and forgiveness that I easily doled out to others. 

One of the greatest and most humbling lessons that we “giving” people have to learn in this lifetime is that we often RUN from loving ourselves because we are so busy helping everyone else. In fact, that isn’t real love - it’s avoidance. 

You see, one day it hit me - I’m not here to learn how to help others (because that comes naturally for me - and many of the women in our program). My soul was whispering something that was really HARD:

❤️‍🔥 “Lover, love thyself. Healer, heal thyself.”

That whisper became a wildfire.

It led me to create The Shakti School Ayurveda Academy - a devotional path back to yourself. A program that isn’t just a certification, but a map back to your own bones, your dignity and your magic. And from that magic -  we truly can be a light unto this world as servants of change. 

Here’s a little taste of what you’ll learn inside Level One:

🌿 The art + science of feminine form Ayurveda
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🌿 How to be a change agent and Ayurveda-based healer the world needs without losing yourself
 
This is the school for women ready to stop outsourcing their wisdom.

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There are just over 2 weeks left of earlybird enrollment for 2026 Shakti Ayurveda School.
 
🌹 Say yes to your own healing today while earlybird tuition is still available... ‘cause prices go up on November 1!

☎️ Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL to book a free call with our team and learn more.
How The Shakti School helped Nicole regulate her n How The Shakti School helped Nicole regulate her nervous system, develop her confidence and embrace all sides of the Inner Feminine. 👆🏼

“Being feminine doesn’t mean that we have to be always nice and passive. Our femininity also has the power and strength in it that we don’t see everyday.” – Nicole Ronda

🎉 Nicole is a soon-to-be grad from both Level 1 and Level 2 Ayurveda School. 

She’s the founder of ADHD Ayurveda, which is dedicated to empowering neurodivergent women through personalized wellness coaching. Her approach blends Ayurvedic practices, herbalism, divination, and real-life experience. Find her at https://www.adhdayurveda.com/ 🌿

Our yearlong Ayurvedic Wellness Coach Certification Training is a year deep dive into working with your nervous system, your body and your Inner Feminine in order to unlock the Healer that already lives inside of you. 

✨ And today marks the final three weeks of earlybird enrollment! That means you’ll save $500+ on tuition when you register before October 31st.

Comment AYURVEDASCHOOL to learn more or to book a free call with our team. 💫

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