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Sex

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The Pelvic Floor & Pleasure

The pelvic floor was designed not to be a muscle you train, but rather a muscle that moves fluidly in connection with the muscles in your lower limbs and trunk of your body. The combination of these muscles working together in a feminine flow is what results in a healthy pelvic floor. Contrary to popular belief, repetitively engaging in kegel exercises (exercises that train the pelvis to contract) is not a balanced approach for strengthening the pelvic bowl, unless you are using them for postpartum recovery or targeting a certain injury or imbalance. Don’t get me wrong, kegel exercises do have their place in women’s health. Kegels and other tightening exercises (like using a jade egg: See p. 198 of Happy, Healthy, Sexy) can be extremely beneficial to mother’s after giving birth or any woman working to retrain, retone, and re-tighten the vaginal walls. Outside of that, when we exclusively focus on contracting the pelvic floor we become vulnerable to many health imbalances including chronic stress, bloating, hormonal issues, and possibly pelvic floor disorder. When our pelvic floor muscles are too tight it can dull our sensitivity to arousal and sexual pleasure. For a flower to open, it must surrender it’s petals. It all comes back to balance.

Did you know that there is a direct line of fascia linking your jaw to your pelvis?

The connection and bio-mechanical relationship that your jaw and pelvis have is particularly helpful for women to understand. It's especially relevant for women with pelvic floor pain. A study in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics from Hanover Medical School in Germany revealed that TMJ (aka temporo-mandibular joint dysfunction) plays an important role in hip mobility restriction experienced by patients with pain. This indicated a connectedness between these two intrinsic parts of the body.

If you've been stuck in a pattern of clenching the pelvis it may be difficult to even know where to begin when it comes to relaxing those muscles. Going to the jawline can be a more accessible place to start and will seem to magically open the pelvic bowl. Ina May Gaskin, a female healer and wise leader in midwifery, even coined the term “the sphincter law” to explain that if the jaw and throat are relaxed then the buttocks and pelvis will be too. She says, “The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.” (Gaskin, 2003, p. 170) On the flip side, if you are clenching your jaw often, you’re probably also clenching your pelvis.

How do I know if my pelvis is contracted?

If you exercise frequently, do yoga, stress easily, or wear heels above 1/8th of an inch, your pelvis is probably contracted. In the modern day yoga and fitness world many women are cued to “contract the navel, lift your belly in and up, draw your navel in and pull your tailbone down,” and while these cues may have there place for certain exercises, if you aren’t spending adequate time intentionally doing the opposite and relaxing you are cuing your body to stay in a hyperarousal state. When we wear heels it causes an anterior pelvic tilt.

These incredible bodies we live in were made to keep each body part in balance with the other. If one body part becomes fixed, the whole system has to compensate. This can lead to a chain reaction of imbalance causing our abdominal organs to be squashed and our belly to bloat.

Many of us have lost our sensitivity to even feel this hyper-flexed state because we've become somewhat disconnected from our bodies. By engaging in more fluid, less structured movement, and through time spent softening, surrendering, and relaxing the pelvic floor those muscles will actually become stronger! Just like the rest of the body, when you overtax a certain muscle, you need adequate rest and recovery time in order for that muscle to actually grow and remain healthy.

How can we maintain an overall healthy pelvic floor?

Diversify your movements! Don’t just focus on one exercise. Doing kegels is similar to doing a bicep curl for your pelvis. You’re only going to strengthen one muscle. Try engaging in a wide range of fluid motions. Movements involving squatting, lunging, and lengthening of the limbs will help tone the pelvis while also help to strengthen the extremities which will create ease on the pelvis while also gaining strength and longevity.

Exercises to tone, relax, & strengthen the pelvis:

  • Breathing practices with elongated exhales
  • Long walks in shoes without heels
  • Take pause throughout the day to relax the jaw
  • Lay down with some massage balls!
  • Get or give yourself a face massage
  • Chakravakasana (cat cow) with lion’s breath to loosen the hips and the jaw
  • Anytime you are doing tightening or strengthening exercises make sure to take adequate recovery time and focus on relaxing the jaw & the pelvic bowl
  • Our Foam roller and pelvic release classes in the Shakti School Membership Community:
Pelvic Power Bowl
March2019
May2019

Login here to view these classes or sign up for one month free using the discount code FREETRIAL at checkout.

How will having a more relaxed & toned pelvis lead to experiencing more pleasure?

When the pelvic floor muscles are chronically tensed the muscles will eventually become less flexible. When the muscles are unable to move and stretch, sensations will become weakened and the ability to engage with that area emotionally will also become more difficult.

In Happy Healthy Sexy: Ayurveda Wisdom for Modern Women, I wrote: “Pleasure-power has everything to do with cultivating our ability to feel and experience pleasure in daily life-- in and out of the bedroom. It’s about getting quiet and content enough to experience the immense beauty that is always present when our senses are tuned in.” Similarly, when we educate ourselves on the pelvic floor it is essential for us to focus on being in continuous engagement with our bodies. The key element to building strength, fluidity, and our ability to experience pleasure is to return to movements that are less rigid, more balanced, and more fluid. It is there where we will find more ease with the body, mind, and spirit.

Our Favorite Products for Pelvic Floor Health

Foria Awaken Arousel Fluid and Personal Lubricant

We LOVE this product. It's main ingredients are Hemp (a source of CBD!) and Kava. It helps relax the pelvic floor and increase blood circulation to nourish your tissues and increase your capacity for pleasure. Get 10% off your order with the promocode SHAKTILOVE.

Jade Eggs Set

Banyan’s Coconut Brahmi Oil

Use promocode SHAKTI10 for 10% off your order with Banyan.

Foods that are good for your connective tissue:

  • Bone Broth
  • Ghee
  • Collagen
  • Tocos (Plant collagen-like supplement) Receive 15% with code SHAKTISUN
  • Magnesium
  • Spring Water
  • Chia Seeds
  • Golden Milk
  • Women's Blend Tea

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19539119

https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/kegel-queen/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4573594/

https://www.alignpt.com/mysterious-connection-pelvis-jaw/

https://www.christinemathesonnd.com/blog/pelvic-health-jaw-tension-connection

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TheShaktiSchool

One of the beautiful gifts of dating apps is that One of the beautiful gifts of dating apps is that they can offer an expansion of the “soulmate field.” ⁠
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But they have shortcomings, too. ⁠
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Dating apps are a neutral tool. Like other forms of technology, we can use them as spiritually as our consciousness allows. ⁠
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In this episode, I’m diving into the wild world of dating apps – we’ll talk about how to approach them with sacred intention and avoid burnout.⁠
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Learn how your dosha shapes the way you move through dating, how to keep your nervous system and self-worth intact and learn some of the energetic and spiritual practices I use to turn dating into a field of growth.⁠
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From reframing rejection to the one-liner I use for breaking off connections—this episode is packed with tools to help you see dating as a transformational, spiritual endeavor. 😉⁠
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🎧 Ready to tune-in? Comment 223 to listen to the full episode now.
🪶 The Sacred is Calling: Ritual as a Way of Liv 🪶 The Sacred is Calling: Ritual as a Way of Living // A Workshop with Sisters Mary McQuate & Katie Silcox⁠
🗓️ September 25th, 10-12PM on Zoom⁠
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In a world that moves too fast, where our calendars overflow but our hearts feel empty, we’ve lost the thread of the sacred.⁠
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Our modern lives are noisy, hurried, and disconnected—yet deep inside, we long for ritual, meaning and magic.⁠
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This workshop is an invitation to step out of the chaos and remember: every moment of life can be touched by the holy.⁠
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In this event we will guide you through the art of creating rituals for life’s most profound passages: birth, death, and the sacred transitions in between. We’ll also explore how the seemingly ordinary moments of daily life can become ritual when met with intention. ⁠
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Together we’ll uncover how ritual and altar-building can hold space for grief and celebration, endings and beginnings, and the quiet moments of becoming that shape who we are. ⁠
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You’ll learn how to weave practices that honor these thresholds into your own life, creating altars that serve as anchors of remembrance, grounding and renewal... reminders of the sacredness at the heart of every transition.⁠
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Mary McQuate, Founder of Living Altars, brings her deep artistry in creating altars and embodied ritual.⁠
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Katie Silcox, renowned Ayurveda teacher, bestselling author, and spiritual guide, brings the feminine-form teachings of spiritual Ayurveda and the wisdom of living a truly enchanted life.⁠
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Together, they will guide you into the ancient, embodied technologies of ritual—made practical, personal and powerful for your daily life.⁠
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🪔 Step into ritual and reclaim the sacred in your life. Comment MEMBERSHIP for more information on joining us.
Sometimes the best investment you can make for you Sometimes the best investment you can make for your nervous system…is a $28 snake plant.⁠
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I know, I know - there’s rent, groceries, spiritual retreats you low-key regret and maybe that ⁠
collagen powder subscription you never canceled.⁠
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But I will never regret spending money on plants.⁠
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Because plants don’t just sit there looking pretty.⁠
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They breathe with us.⁠
They clean our air.⁠
They calm our cortisol.⁠
They remind us—without words—how to be.⁠
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Plants ARE the Buddhas we've been waiting for. ⁠
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In that light - here are a few of my current green goddesses of choice (AKA natural air purifiers ⁠
that do way more than just look cute):⁠
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🌿 Areca Palm – Humidifies the air + purifies formaldehyde. Great for your skin + your lungs. Also vibes like a little Florida vacation in a pot.⁠
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🪴 Snake Plant (a.k.a. Mother-in-Law’s Tongue) – Releases oxygen at night, making it a dreamy bedroom companion.⁠
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🌸 Peace Lily – Absorbs mold spores + brings literal peace to your environment. I keep one on my altar.⁠
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🌵 Aloe Vera – Not just for burns. She also clears benzene from the air (think paint fumes + cleaning supplies). Bonus: she’s juicy and lush AF.⁠
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🌬 Pothos & Spider Plants – Ridiculously easy to care for + workhorses for purifying air toxins. Great for beginner plant moms.⁠
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Plants are more than decor.⁠
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They’re medicine.⁠
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Not just for the body, but for the spirit.⁠
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They teach us that healing is slow, soft and seasonal.⁠
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That purification isn’t something you force—it’s something you allow.⁠
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✨ Want to soak in more plant wisdom and nervous system nourishment?⁠
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Join us for our upcoming Spa Day Webinar—a whole afternoon of Ayurvedic self-care practices designed to restore and renew you.⁠
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👉🏽 Comment SPA DAY to save your spot (and yes, we’ll send the replay if you can’t make it live!).⁠
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With chlorophyll kisses,⁠
Katie 💋
According to Ayurveda, glowing skin + radiant beau According to Ayurveda, glowing skin + radiant beauty don’t begin with the latest serum or mask—they start in the gut. To get an instant window into the current status of your gut-health (both physical and psychospiritual) tune into these questions:

🍋 Are you hydrated? Are you drinking water with lemon in the morning? Or do you drink ice water or cold beverages?

✅ Swap the ice water for warm lemon water in the morning and sip warm water throughout the day to gently cleanse toxins (ama) and support healthy digestion.

🥕 What are you eating?

✅ What you eat becomes both your body and your mind. Highly processed foods do not give us good prana, or energy, while whole, seasonal, freshly prepared meals nourish our tissues.

👄 Are you chewing your food?

✅ Digestion begins in the mouth. Chewing thoroughly signals your digestive system to prepare for breakdown and absorption. Instead of rushing, slow down and savor each bite to support smoother digestion and assimilation.

💐 Are you eating in a beautiful environment, in an unrushed way?

✅ The environment around you becomes part of your food. Ayurveda suggests eating in a calm, pleasant space, without distractions, so your body can digest not just food, but also the subtle energy of your surroundings.

🧘🏼‍♀️ Do you feel nourished or weighed down after meals?

✅ How you feel post-meal is one of Ayurveda’s simplest diagnostic tools. A light, energized feeling indicates strong agni, while heaviness signals undigested ama.

🔥 Are you listening to your body’s cues of hunger and fullness?
 
✅ True hunger is the body’s signal that agni is ready. Eating before you’re hungry dampens digestion, while ignoring fullness creates overload. 

These simple awareness shifts can completely transform not only your digestion, but also your outer glow. 🌹✨

💌 Want more beauty wisdom, goddess-style? Join us for our FREE Virtual Ayurveda Spa Day where you’ll learn ancient rituals for beauty + well-being from the inside out.

✨ Comment SPA DAY for the link to register and receive your free e-book gift!
What if you could have ONE day JUST FOR YOU? We've What if you could have ONE day JUST FOR YOU? We've got you covered. ⁠
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You’re invited to join Katie Silcox and The Shakti School for a special complimentary virtual class: Ayurveda Spa Day.⁠
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In this workshop, you’ll discover:⁠
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✨ Simple, time-honored beauty care rituals from Ayurveda that you can weave into your everyday life.⁠
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✨ Step-by-step guidance on self-massage, dry-brushing, oil-pulling, head massage and facial basics.⁠
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✨ The deeper wisdom of connecting with your inner Divine Feminine through intentional beauty rituals.⁠
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✨ A complimentary Ayurvedic Beauty Care E-Book, full of easy recipes for masks, bath soaks and hydrating tonics.⁠
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✨ A 10-minute meditation with Katie to center your heart that you can do anytime you may need a little self-care.⁠
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This is your chance to create a mini retreat at home — for body, mind + soul. 💫⁠
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Join us this Friday September 12th at 11am US Eastern Time.⁠
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🫧 Missed us live? Comment SPA DAY and we’ll send you the free recording of our Ayurveda Spa Day webinar. 🌹

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